Save Me From Myself
by ohsnapitzlena
Summary: Clara and the Doctor are struggling to come to terms with their feelings for each other, but what happens when they do? Sure, maybe it ends up well, but it sure is a rollercoaster getting there. T to be safe, some adult topics, nothing too graphic.
1. Chapter 1

_PLEASE READ FIRST: Hi everybody! So, this is my third Who fic but my very first Whouffle fic and I'm extremely excited about it! I love Jenna-Louise Coleman sooooo much so I'm delighted to get to write my view of her and how she plays Clara. I also love Matt Smith. He's just ughhh I can't. He's too cute. Anywho, ahah. This fic is planned to go until I run out of ideas. I've planned 25 chapters right now, but they'll definitely be more and there'll be no surprise cancellations like I did with a few of my other fics. This is T to be safe but there are gonna be some adult topics. Nothing weird, and nothing too graphic but there'll be hints and a bit of description. The chapters are also gonna alternate so, the Doctor's point of view is the odd chapters, and Clara's the evens. I hope you guys will like the story as much as I already do. I swear, I wanna write it all right now, and I just might! One last note, regular italics in the story are thoughts. Ahaha, anywho, enjoy.3_

_DISCLAIMER: Sadly, I don't own Doctor Who or anything affiliated with it, although I really wish I could be part of the cast, or even write an episode… Not the point.. ahaha._

* * *

_Ah haha, its Wednesday! I love Wednesdays, Wednesdays are the best! I mean, it's not boring like Tuesday or Thursday or Monday or Sunday but not too exciting like Saturday or Friday. It's subtle. But best of all.. It's the day I get to see my impossible girl._

I run around the TARDIS console and flip switches, press buttons and pull levers to get my sexy machine up and running.

I fumble and fall as the TARDIS shifts through time and space and eventually settle on the floor.

The time on my wrist watch shows I'm about half an hour earlier than I should be to retrieve Clara. It's a little too early.

_There never really is a _too early _is there? Not when I'm going to see her. My impossible girl. More like my impossibly beautiful girl._

I decide to sit on the floor and relax for a mo' while I wait for Clara to wake. I never get to relax, I'm always off doing something with someone.

My mind wanders as I sit, and I find myself trying _not _to think of Clara again. I force my mind to think of different adventures.

_Rescuing people from their wifi.. Akhaten.. That sinking submarine.. Following the ghost that really wasn't a ghost, just a girl in a pocket universe… The TARDIS crashing then reinventing itself every 5 bloody seconds… Turning crimson..Going to that theme park with Angie and Artie and.._

_Wait._

Those were all Clara memories.

I can't get my mind off of her. No matter what I try.

_You have to! You have to get your mind off her for a little while, at least. It's physically hurting you._

I get up from my spot on the floor and travel to the wardrobe.

The TARDIS seems to know exactly what I want and has my swim trunks right on top of all the clothes.

I strip off my shirt and take a look at myself in the mirror.

_Wow. SO glad I added that gym room. Clara would LOVE me if she saw this._

No. Stop.

I turn around and walk down to the TARDIS pool, deciding to swim a few laps to clear my head.

As I arrive, I dive into the pool, forgetting it isn't very deep. Normally, the TARDIS would change the pool's schematics and deepen the pool, but this time, she doesn't.

I feel my head smack against the pool's floor, and everything goes black.

…

I wake up some amount of time later in the medical bay. There's a bandage covering my head and wrist.

_The TARDIS must've changed the rooms while I was unconscious and landed me in the Medical Bay. But how did I get the bandages? Did she take a human form again? Is Martha Jones back?_

"Hey sleepyhead. How ya feeling?" I hear.

"Uhh.." I say groggily, rubbing my head. My vision is a little blurry still, but I see a short brunette walk up to me.

"Awee, poor baby." She says as she sits down next to me.

My vision clears more and I realize it's Clara sitting beside me.

"Do you want some water or-or a jammy dodger?"

"Ohh.. I'll take you up on that jammy dodger." I say.

She begins to stand up, but I touch her shoulder and sit her back down.

"But let me get it." I say.

"No.. You're not feeling well. I really don't mind.."

"I know.. And thanks for that.. But I couldn't let you be my servant for the day. It just seems… wrong.."

"I wouldn't be your servant.. Just.. I dunno.. A nurse?" she says with a smirk.

I pick up her hint and quickly feel awkward.

"Oh. Um." I say, squirming.

She realizes what she's said and blushes immensely.

"No.. No, uhm, I- I didn't mean it like that.. I mean, I did but.. I didn't mean it _that _way.. I-It's not that I don't like you it's just-"

I can't help but smile at how adorable she is when she's flustered. I walk back to her and kneel down, two jammy dodgers in hand. I hand her one and bite into the other, then toss it into the nearest wastebasket.

"Sweetheart.." I say, brushing a piece of hair off of her face. "I know what you mean. It's okay."

I stand up, as does she, and walk to the door.

"And besides, I'm feeling better. Much better! So good, I could do cartwheels on the rings of Saturn! Ooohhhh Saturn. _Lovely_ place! Excellent to do cartwheels on. Shall we go? I could use the exercise!"

I hear Clara laugh as she cuts me off from my rant.

"Doctor. Relax a bit. Let's go to Saturn and you can _teach _me how to cartwheel."

I'm shocked at the words she's just said.

"What! Clara Oswin Oswald, beautiful Clara Oswald, you're telling me that in all your 24 years you've never done a cartwheel?"

Her face turns an adorable shade of pink as she thinks of her answer. She giggles before she speaks.

"Nope. Not once."

"What..? What's so funny?"

"What d'ya mean?" she says, trying to hold back a giggle.

"You're laughing and your face is bright pink, which usually means you're embarrassed or flattered so, what happened?"

She put her hands over her cheeks and smiles down at her feet.

"You called me beautiful."

"Oh. Well.. You know, you are.."

"Thanks." She says, still looking at her feet.

It's impossible not to love her. I mean.. look at her. From her big brown eyes to her sometimes wavy sometimes straight brown hair; Her petite little body; Her tiny, adorable hands that you just wanna hold and never let go; The voice of an angel; Her sense of humor; Not to mention the adorable dimples.. The way she flirts with me makes me crazy. You can see in her eyes the insecurity. She obviously doesn't know how all of those things make her amazing and perfect and the love of my life. I need to be the one to tell her that.

"Doctor?" she says, pulling me out of my daze.

"Uh, yeah."

"You were looking right into my eyes.."

"Oh." I say, startled. I force my eyes away, but it's too hard.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes. Yes, no, it's brilliant. Brilliant."

I can't keep hiding this from her anymore.

"Clara, I-" I start but quickly shut up.

"Yes, Doctor?"

"No, it's nothing, nevermind."

"You know, Chin, you're starting to get a bit jumpy. Seems like somebody likes me." She says adding a flirtatious wink.

I awkwardly laugh, trying to hide that what she'd said was the truth.

"What? Noooooo. No no no no no.. Nope. I, The Doctor, have no feelings for Clara Oswald." I say, laughing once more.

Her face drops a bit, then lightens, possibly seeing through my little skit.

"Right! Yes! Saturn!" I say, flipping switches and things once more.


	2. Chapter 2

_Hiiii! I'm too excited and I'm about to write the next 3 chapters really early so I dunno, should I upload them all at once or apart? You guys decide. Follow me on twitter! VanillaArianaa. Enjoy the chapter! I love it sooooo much! I think it's my favorite chapter I've written out of every story I've done. So much fluff! Anyway, don't forget to review/follow/favorite. :]_

* * *

I hold on to the Doctor's arm as we walk out of the TARDIS doors and onto the outer-most ring surrounding Saturn.

"Wow.." I breathe out.

The Doctor looks out at the surrounding stars and space and rubs my arm.

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

I look around as well, and suddenly feel really uneasy. I grab the Doctor's arm as if holding on for my life.

"It's okay. The TARDIS is holding an air pocket surround us, which is why you can breathe. Don't worry about a thing, okay? I'll protect you." He says, adding a smile on the end.

I slowly nod my head, still panic-stricken, and let go of his arm.

"I trust you." I say slowly.

_Why did I let him take me here?_

I'm utterly terrified of heights. Especially when I'm on the rings of another planet.

"Jump" the Doctor says.

My face twists in confusion.

"Go on.." he says.

Putting all my trust in him, I jump up and land safely back on my feet as quickly as I jumped up.

"What was that about?" I ask.

"The TARDIS is maintaining a gravity field as well, which is why you haven't floated off into the stars." He explains.

I walk a little past the Doctor and turn around towards him. He's bent down, feeling the rings.

_Oh my stars, he's so cute. Look at his chin! So angular.. He's so adorable when he's inspecting things._

I shake my head, trying to clear the thoughts.

"You okay over there, Clara?"

I nearly melt at the way he says my name. I've never wanted to hear it more. And the way he's looking at me. Those puppy dog eyes he uses when he either wants something or is concerned.

"Mhmm. Yeah." I say, smiling.

He walks closer to me and I can hear my heart beating in my chest.

_Relax, relax, relax, relax, relax._

I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

He's suddenly standing right in front of me. He runs one of his hands through my straightened hair.

My heart is beating so loud, he can probably hear it.

_Please get your hand out of my hair, it's impossible to keep my cool with it there._

He curls his fingers and lightly brushes my cheek. He smiles as his thumb traces my bottom lip.

I open my mouth to speak but he moves his pointer finger in front of my lips.

_Oh my stars, I can't handle this._

"You don't have to say anything." He says.

The next thing I know, he's moved his finger and is leaning in for a kiss.

I'm taken off-guard when his lips touch mine, and I can feel the fireworks.

My stomach ties in knots and I suddenly find myself kissing back.

"Clara?" the Doctor says. He's still so close to me, and he sounds out of breath.

"Clara..?" he says normally.

I open my eyes to find the Doctor standing right in front of me.

"Sorry, what?"

"Uhm.. You were just kissing the air.."

I feel the blood rush to my cheeks and I look down at my feet.

"Right. Sorry."

_Oh God, I imagined it._

I slowly look back up at him, and he's smiling, fixing his bowtie.

_But if I imagined it.. Where did it come from?_

The Doctor clears his throat.

"So.. ready to do some cartwheels?" He says, smiling.

I nod my head and place my hand into the Doctor's.

He leads me a little closer to where he was previously kneeling and places me in front of him.

"I really don't know what I'm doing.." I say.

"Don't worry. Like I said, I protect you. Besides, I'll show you first."

The Doctor turns sideways, facing away from the planet.

He runs, then lifts his body up and brings it around the air, then lands back on the ring.

He turns to me, and bows.

"Ta-da!"

I giggle at his silliness and applaud his gymnastic skills.

He walks back to me, and turns again, facing away from the planet. This time, he turns me as well.

Again, I'm standing in front of him.

"Okay, extend your arms like you're trying to balance on a tight rope."

_Only he would say something like that._

I jump as I feel the Doctor's hands around my waist.

"You okay? Too much?" he asks.

I settle, and breathe out.

"No, you're fine. I just wasn't expecting it."

I hear him chuckle a little behind me.

"You're really going to have to trust me now, okay?"

I bite my lip and close my eyes.

"I do." I say unevenly.

I open my eyes again and listen to his instructions.

"Walk a little bit forward and bend down. Let your arms push you upward. I'll do the rest."

I do as he says, feeling terrified.

Once my hand is on the ground, the Doctor tightens his grip on my waist.

He lifts my body up, and I place both of my hands on the ground.

As my legs come over my head, I gradually lift both hands from the ground, and find myself standing up-right once more.

The Doctor's hands are still around my waist.

He spins me so I'm facing him, and looks me directly in the eyes.

I can't help but stare at his. They're so warm and inviting.

_I think I'm about to melt._

"Perfect." He says gently.

_Yep. I'm gonna melt._

He realizes his hands are still on me and quickly pulls them away, then coughs awkwardly.

"Let's get you home."


	3. Chapter 3

_Helllooooo! I'm super excited, because starting at Chapter 5, things start to pick up and the story idea actually comes into play :D Anyway, here's chapter 3, the Doctor's point of view. This is going to be a long chapter because there'll be an adventure that I just don't want to cut down at all, ahah. It's 8 and a half pages long as opposed to the normal 4 lol. There's a lot of references to Julian Fellowes's Titanic Mini-Series. Don't forget to review/follow/favorite! Leave me your suggestions, things you want to see, or what you liked/disliked in the reviews or just PM me. Enjoy :]_

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Doctor Who, Titanic or any of its character._

* * *

_Boy that was… something.._

I open the doors to the TARDIS and lead Clara out.

Every Wednesday, after our adventure, I have to hide the TARDIS when I drop her off. The Maitland kids may know about it, but their neighbors sure don't, let alone their father.

Definitely don't want anyone asking questions I can't explain to their stupid human minds.

Don't get me wrong, a lot of humans have brilliant minds.

_Like Clara. Ooh, her mind. So clever._

I smile at the thought, then open the door to the Maitland's house.

"Well.. I guess I'll see you next Wednesday." Clara said.

My smile is lost as I remember the day is over.

"Right.. Wednesday."

She gives me a reassuring smile, then walks in the door and shuts it behind her.

I sit down on the steps and bury my head in my knees.

From inside, I hear her greet Angie and Artie, then ascend up the staircase to her room.

"Wait, Clara!" I hear Artie call. "Where's the Doctor?!"

"I don't know, Artie. If you're lucky, he's still at the door."

I feel myself blush and awkwardly stand up.

"Doctor?" Artie calls, then the door opens.

He smiles widely and attacks me in a hug.

"Doctor!" he yells.

I laugh and return his hug.

"Hello Artie! How are you? Hmm? Where's Angie?" I question.

"I'm fine, thanks! Angie's inside. I think she's about to talk with Clara in her room. You can go up if you like."

"No, that's alright. I've got to get going. Places to go, people to save. You know me."

Artie frowns and lets go of me. He looks up at me with those ridiculous puppy dog eyes.

"Couldn't you just stay for a little while?"

I give him a look, trying to inform him I can't stay.

"I bet Clara wouldn't mind if you stayed for a while."

I lift my head and think it over.

_Well, if Clara wouldn't mind, where's the harm?_

"I mean, I guess that would be okay." I say.

When I look down at him, his smile is so wide it's taking up half his face.

"I knew that would work." He says, then ushers me inside. "C'mon, I wanna show you something!"

Artie grabs my wrist and yanks me up to his room.

I stumble and nearly fall down the stairs when a pair of arms reach out and catch me from behind.

_Please don't be Clara, pleeeease don't be Clara._

Everything she does makes me fall even more in love with her. It's driving me crazy!

I'm the Doctor! I don't fall in love! But when I'm with Clara..

"Watch where you're going, Chin." I hear.

_She called me Chin._

I smile at the thought, then remember the situation I'm in.

She helps lift me to my feet and I turn and thank her.

We smile at each other, each looking into the other's eyes, for a few minutes.

Eventually, Artie tugs my arm, and I continue up the steps, regretting leaving her.

"Alright, what's up, Artie?" I say, closing his bedroom door behind me.

He sits down on his bed and grins widely.

"You love Clara." He smirks.

"What? What, no. No, I don't love Clara. Of course I don't love Clara."

He laughs to himself and looks at me oddly, clearly up to something mischievous.

_That look is making me nervous.._

"Stop that." I demand.

"Whatever." He scoffs.

"What did you want to show me?"

"Oh right!" he says, hopping up from his bed and moving across the room. He picks up a paper with the word "TITANIC" written in bold across the top. "I'm doing a research paper on the Titanic and I was hoping you could help."

_An adventure! Yes!_

"Of course, man! Let's go tell Clara where we're off to, and then we'll go visit the Titanic! Allons-y!"

"What?" Artie asked confusedly.

_That phrase was SO last regeneration._

"Nevermind, let's go." I say, pushing him out of the room.

I nearly run to Clara's room and knock on her bedroom door quickly, eager to see her beautiful face again.

"What's up?" she asks, opening her bedroom door.

"Hello, Clara! I hope you don't mind, I'm going to take Artie out for a quick trip."

She eyes me curiously. A look that always makes me anxious.

"Where..?" she asks slowly.

"The Titanic." I say quite speedily.

"Sorry, what?"

"The.. Titanic."

She laughs, then closes her door.

"Good joke, Chin. Maybe next time it'll work." She replieds sarcastically.

"No, Clara, I wasn't joking! He needs help on his research paper!"

The door swings open again, and an unsure Clara stands in the doorway.

"It's risky, Doctor.. I don't want him getting hurt."

"No worries! I have it all planned out! Nothing will go wrong!"

After a few moments, she nods, adding a "be careful" before I walk away.

I grab Artie from behind me and race to the TARDIS. Soon, we're fumbling and moving all around in the console room, ready to land.

Moments later, we arrive in the 2nd class dining area.

"Lovely dining hall for second class!" I say, probably a bit louder than necessary.

_Whoops. Oh well. What's said is said._

I take Artie all around the ship, showing him each and every room and introducing him to passengers as my younger sibling.

As we walk down the second class hallway, we hear the sound of approaching footsteps, though it sounds as if they're running right towards us.

Seconds later, a young couple runs around the corner and straight into us, knocking all of us to the floor.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, sir." A young man says. His voice is thick with an Italian accent.

"Oh no, it's not a problem. Bit of fun, actually!" I reply.

"We should've been watching where we were running." I hear a voice say. "I told you we shouldn't be running."

_I know that voice.._

Artie and I look at each other, clearly thinking the same thought.

"I'm sorry, my love." The man says.

The man helps me to my feet, the woman helping Artie.

"Clara?" Artie asks.

"Sorry, who? Annie Desmond." She says, extending her arm. He gives her his hand and returns the greeting.

"Artie Maitland. Nice to meet you."

The man kneels down next to Artie, and begins talking to him.

"Do you know her?" the man asks.

Artie looks to me, not knowing what to say. I shrug my shoulders, not knowing either.

"Uhm.. No, sir. She just looks a lot like someone I know."

"Someone special?"

"You could say that.." Artie replies, looking at me smugly.

I feel myself blush immensely and turn away, only to hear a giggle from Annie, causing me to turn to her.

"Well, you're very lucky then. She must be very beautiful if she looks anything like my Annie."

This time, Annie is the one who blushes and turns away.

"Oh hush, I'm not that beautiful."

_Oh, she is _definitely _like Clara._

The man stands up and takes her lightly by the waist, spinning her into his chest.

"I refuse to believe that. You're more beautiful than the moon over the Italian Riviera."

She giggles, and nestles her head into his neck.

The man turns to Artie and I after kissing the top of Annie's head and looks directly at me.

"I'm sorry, I never introduced myself. Paolo Sandrini. First class dining hall servant."

"Nice to meet you. I'm the Doctor."

"Doctor Who?" Annie says, looking up at me.

"Ahh… dangerous question. Anywho, must be off. Have a nice night." I say.

The two of them share a look, then bid us goodnight and stroll down the hall, hand-in-hand.

"_Sei così bella, amore mio. Non potrò mai lasciarti andare." _I hear Paolo say.

It takes a moment for the TARDIS translation to kick in, but when it does, I can't help but smile at the sentence.

"You are so beautiful, my love. I will never let you go."

Artie looks at me confusedly. Since he has barely been in the TARDIS, the translation service won't work for him. He quickly brushes it off, and we continue down the hallway.

I can't help but think how much she was like Clara. Same adorable face, same beautiful hair, same angelic voice.. She was even the same height!

_She could be a Clara echo.. But she said her name was Annie.. Annie Desmond.._

I finally settle on the idea that everyone has a doppelganger; Annie must be Clara's.

"So, should we get back into the TARDIS before this baby goes down? I think I've got enough information-" Artie starts. He's cut off by the rumbling and shaking of the ship.

"I think we're a little late for that, Artie. Come on! To the TARDIS!" I say as we begin running down a corridor.

"Where is she?" Artie yells. It's hard to hear over the screams of terrified passengers and the rusting of the ice on the ship.

"Who?" I yell back. What was this boy talking about?

"The TARDIS, you nut!"

"Oi! Rude! She's down the hall!" I yell, but as we approach, she is nowhere to be found. "I think.."

"Great! You lost the TARDIS!"

"I didn't lose her! She's just not where I thought I left her!"

We decide it best to look for her together. Couldn't have Artie getting lost on a ship who's fate was as disastrous as _Titanic_'s.

I take his hand and weave our way through the passengers on the A deck. There are so many, I fear Artie may get lost.

"Women and children on the lifeboats! Quickly!" I hear a man say.

Then I felt someone pulling on my hand and finally, nothing.

I stop dead in my tracks.

"Artie?!" I yell, looking around for him. "Artie!"

I spin in circles and run up and down the deck, trying to find any sign of him.

Soon, I spot Clara- er, Annie- sitting in a lifeboat, talking to Paolo. Right next to her.. a kid who looks just like Artie.

"Artie!" I yell, moving closer to the boat, but I can't get close enough. Too many people.

I squint my eyes to look closer, and conclude that it is not him.

Fearing I'd lose him for good, I run as fast as I can, through first, second, and third class. Finally, I return to the A Deck.

"ARTIE!" I yell once more, feeling terrified.

_Oh God, Clara's going to kill me. And Artie. The poor boy doesn't know how to swim! Wait.. does he?_

I shake my head and run around for Artie once more. Finally, I conclude it must've been him aboard the lifeboat with Annie.

But how to get to him? The TARDIS was still missing.

_Well, she can't have gone far. We're on a boat. Unless.. NO. No, she couldn't have sunk._

I'm broken from my thoughts by the ship rumbling and creaking even more than it was before.

The ship was breaking in half.

I hold onto a nearby rail for dear life, hoping I will survive the massacre. I decide to think of things that make me happy, trying to remember the better times.

My mind immediately goes to Clara. This time, I let it.

_Her beauty.. Holding her soft, tiny little hands when we run.. The way her beautiful brunette hair frames her cheeky little face. Oh God, I'd give anything to hold her one last time right now. Clara is the most important thing in my life right now, and she's all I want._

I decide that Clara is what I want the last thing I think of to be. Before I die. Finally, I make my choice.

_Clara._

I take a deep breath, and shut my eyes.

_Oswin._

I let go of the rail with one hand.

_Oswald._

And finally, the other. I float a far ways down, until I land on hard ground. When I open my eyes, I am standing in the TARDIS console room.

(A/N: Cue "I Am the Doctor" music, ahah.)

"Ohh, you _sexy thing!"_

I set the TARDIS to find Artie, and when it does, it's engines whir, and begins to travel.

The machine lands me afloat in the icy Atlantic waters, parallel to the boat Artie and Annie are in.

They've pulled the boats together, and are currently trying to awake an unconscious man being referred to as Lord Manton.

In the second boat, I spy Artie Maitland, who jumps up with joy at the sight of my TARDIS. He hops across the boats and into the TARDIS. I sigh with relief that he is alright.

But before I can close the door, I hear a soft crying. That's when I spotted Annie. I hopped out of the TARDIS and into the boat, then kneel down beside her.

"Paolo.." she softly whispers.

"He's gone, I'm afraid. I'm sorry." A man says. There is a pause, then he speaks again. "Did you know him well?"

Annie runs her hand through his hair and wipes a tear from her eye.

" I was going to marry him." She says. There is another long pause, and she speaks once more. "I just hope to God he knew it." She kisses his cheek, and continues crying softly.

_Oh.. please.. stop crying.. It's- it's.._

Heartbreaking.

I place my thumb under her chin and turn her head towards me, then whisper, "Shh…"

She is no longer crying, but the tears are still in her eyes, waiting to break free.

I pull out my sonic screwdriver and run it over Paolo.

Surprised at what it's telling me, I turn to Annie.

"Kiss him."

"what?" she asks softly.

"Just kiss him."

She turns back to Paolo and kisses him. She slowly pulls away and after a moment, Paolo coughs up a bit of water.

Before Annie can say anything, I am off again in the TARDIS, bringing Artie home.

I park the TARDIS in its usual spot, then bring Artie inside.

"Clara, we're home!" he yells.

Soon, Angie appears at the bottom of the steps.

"Oh.. Yay.. You've only been gone 5 minutes." she says very unhappily.

"Uh.. yeah." he says.

"Well, have you got stuff for your report?" she asks.

I smile at the two of them, then move to make my way up the stairs.

"Uhm, you can't go up there." Angie says.

"Why not?" I ask.

"Uhh... Clara's in the bathroom.."

"Uh, okay? I guess I'll go then," I say, then retreat to the door.

"Oi! Not so fast, Chin." Clara says.

She continues walking down the stairs, over to me, and finally hugs me. "Not before I get my goodbye."

I smile at her once more and tell her goodbye.

"See you Wednesday." She says smiling as I walk out the door.

"Yup.. Wednesday." I say after I close the door, then smile to myself and go into the TARDIS.


	4. Chapter 4

_Hey! I won't spend long on this author's note but since fanfiction wasn't letting me upload for over 2 bloody hours, I got to writing more of the story and I'm so exciting about writing later chapters! Enjoy :D Review/favorite/follow :] Oh, one more thing: This chapter takes place while Artie and The Doctor are on the Titanic._

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Doctor Who, but you knew that :p_

* * *

I close the door to my room and sit down on my bed, right next to Angie. She looks at me blankly.

"What's going on, Clara?" she asks.

"I don't know what to do.."

"What are you going on about? Elaborate a little more please."

"I don't know what to do about the Doctor." I say quite hurriedly.

"Sorry.. I didn't quite catch that."

The biggest, most devilish grin spreads across her face. She knows exactly what I said.

"I don't know what to about the Doctor, okay?!"

Right at the mention of his name, someone knocked on the door.

I regretfully get up from my comfy position and answer the door, really hoping it wasn't Artie or Mr. Maitland.

"What's up?" I ask, opening my bedroom door.

"Hello, Clara! I hope you don't mind, I'm going to take Artie out for a quick trip."

My face twists in confusion, not sure if I should let him go or not.

"Where..?" I ask slowly.

"The Titanic." He replies, quite speedily.

"Sorry, what?"

"The.. Titanic."

I laugh, then close my door.

_Does he really think taking Artie to the _Titanic _is a good idea?_

"Good joke, Chin. Maybe next time it'll work." I reply as sarcastically as I can make myself sound.

"No, Clara, I wasn't joking! He needs help on his research paper!"

I swing the door open again, still contemplating the idea. It could end up really bad.

"It's risky, Doctor.. I don't want him getting hurt."

"No worries! I have it all planned out! Nothing will go wrong!"

_I mean, I've been in a sinking submarine, though it was a bit unplanned, but I got out alive.. And I trust the Doctor.._

After a few moments, I nod, adding a "be careful" before he walks away.

_Don't leave.._

I close the door, lean my back against it, and close my eyes.

"Clara.. Are you okay?" Angie asks, still sitting on my bed.

I feel a tear drip down my cheek. I don't know what I should say to that. I am but I'm not.

"Oh, Clara, come here." She says, sounding much more compassionate than ever.

I walk over to the bed and sit down, now crying even more than before.

"What's wrong?" the Maitland girl asks.

"I don't know what to do, Angie, I really don't!" I say, quietly sobbing.

She places her arms around me and lets me cry into her shoulder.

"Can you explain a bit?" she asks softly.

I sit up from the hug and look at her, tears still running down my face.

"I don't know what to do, and I know I've said that a million times but honestly, I really don't. I look at him and everything inside me is happy and warm and my head goes crazy; making me feel like he's some sort of God. It's tricking me into thinking he cares about me and I don't know how to make it stop." I blurt.

_It's true. It's ALL true._

"Clara, he really does care about you. He loves you more than anybody in this entire world and I know you love him back. And besides, why would you want that feeling to stop? It's the best feeling in the world. A feeling few people will ever give you. He treats you like a princess. He worships the ground you walk on. He's constantly calling you beautiful and acting like a fool around you."

"He doesn't love me. He's just trying to be nice. He doesn't really think I'm beautiful. I bet he probably doesn't even want me to be traveling with him. I want the feeling to stop. Stop fooling me into believing someone in this world actually cares and that I do matter. Stop making me fall for someone who isn't going to fall for me."

"Clara Oswald, you do matter. You matter so, so much. You are so special and so important to life. If you weren't here, I don't know how I'd be able to live. You've saved me so many times. Maybe not knowingly, but you have. I've thought about leaving this world so many times but I always came back to you. Not seeing you every day would make me feel even worse. And of course the Doctor loves you! You can't see it? He nearly falls over every time he sees you! He's so in love with you, he doesn't know what to do with himself!"

"You can't honestly think that. He doesn't care about me. He wouldn't care if I went missing or-or even if I was dead."

"Clara" Angie starts.

I look up to see her looking directly into my eyes. I can tell that everything I'm saying is hurting her. There are tears in her eyes. There are _never _tears in her eyes.

"He cares about you so much. If you went missing, he would go to no end to find you. If you took your own life, he would sit by your grave and cry every day. I know I would. Besides, if he didn't care if you were missing or dead, why did he jump inside that burning TARDIS to save you? Why does he come back every Wednesday to pick you up? His eyes light up a thousand times brighter than ever when he says your face each time. I see it. Artie sees it. Even Dad sees it. Take a chance with him."

Before I could speak, I hear the TARDIS materialize outside.

Angie wipes a tear from my cheek and smiles at me.

"He loves you. I love you. Now it's time for _you _to love you."

I weakly smile and sniffle, then stand up.

"I need to fix my makeup so the Doctor doesn't know I've been crying."

"Okay. I'll go stall him." She says, then walks out of the room.

I sniffle and wipe away my tears, then walk into the bathroom. I pull my concealer, mascara and liquid eyeliner from a drawer and place them on the counter, then apply the concealer. Once the tear stairs are covered, I re-apply my eyeliner, drawing one smooth line on each eye, then finish with a hint of mascara.

_Gotta look good for him._

_Wait, what? No. Not for him. Gotta look good to feel good. Yeah, that's what I meant._

I walk out of my room and hear Angie downstairs, stalling the Doctor like she said she would.

"Uhh.. Clara's in the bathroom.." she says.

_Thanks, Ang. Exactly what I wanted._

I roll my eyes and continue down the stairs, but stop half way when I see the Doctor leaving.

"Uhh okay? I guess I'll go then."

Before he can leave, I stop him, definitely not wanting him to go.

"Oi! Not so fast, Chin."

_Stop calling him Chin! You're hurting his feelings!_

I continue down the stairs, then over to him, and give him a hug.

_Please, never let me go._

Eventually, I pull away, suddenly feeling the regret of not still being held to him.

"Not before I get my goodbye." I say.

He smiles at me and says a goodbye of his own, then retreats to the door.

"See you Wednesday!" I say, and he walks out the door.

_Yeah, he definitely loves me._

I look back to Angie and give her an "I'm about to cry" look.

She quickly takes the hint and we walk upstairs to my room together.

_It needs to be Wednesday._


	5. Chapter 5

_Hii guyysss! This chapter.. ooh, things happen.. Sorry, as you probably know, fanfiction wasn't letting anyone update chapters yesterday so in that time, I wrote 3 chapters to make it up to you guys. Obviously, this is the third of them, ahah. Anyway, review/favorite/follow, I don't own Doctor Who, blah blah blah, on with the chapter._

* * *

The TARDIS welcomes me with a soft hum, probably sensing how I feel.

My stomach is completely upside-down. I swear, it's like it's throwing a party with club music inside me.

_Clara looked so beautiful today. So beautiful, she makes the TARDIS look ugly._

I quickly realize what I've thought and stroke the center console, lightly 'shush'ing her.

_There was something different about Clara today. Something… off. She wasn't herself._

It was probably just a bad day or, maybe she lost her favorite shirt.

I flip some switches on the console, pull a few levers, wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey , and land the next Wednesday.

_Clara._

I smile to myself, excited to see her once more, even if the last time I saw her was only 20 minutes ago.

I jump out of the TARDIS and run straight to the Maitlands' front door, knocking on it as fast as possible.

"I'll get it!" I hear Angie yell inside, then see the door open.

"Helloooo Angie! How are you, where's Clara?"

Angie sighs and rolls her eyes.

_Well fine. Someone's not going on a trip anytime soon._

"Clara's out." She says, seemingly very bored.

"Where?" I ask sadly.

_Does she not want to travel today? Does she have a date? Oh my God, is she leaving me?!_

"The supermarket. We ran out of eggs. She _has _to make her soufflé." Angie says, slightly laughing.

"Oh," I say, laughing as well. "May I wait for her to get back?"

"Yeah, sure, come on it." She directs me into the home and tells me to sit on the sofa.

"Artie?" She calls, looking at me.

"Comin! He yells back, then appears down the stairs and then sitting next to his sister.

"Is this an intervention? Never had one of those. Ooh, exciting!"

"No, Doctor. But.. we need to talk to you."

"Oh," I say, putting on my serious face. "Did you dad finally say he was an alien? I always thought he must be from Raxacoricofallopatious."

"What? No!" Artie exclaims.

"God, you are so thick. It's about Clara." Angie informs me.

_I am not thick!_

"Why? Is she okay?" I ask.

"Not really. She likes you." Artie states.

"Shoe doesn't like him, she's in love with him!" Angie yells, making her brother jump.

"She-she is?" I ask, shocked.

Angie and Artie both turn to me, looking completely dumbfounded.

"You're kidding." Artie says.

"How could you not know that?" Angie nearly yells.

"How was I _supposed _to know? It's not like she comes up to me and says, 'Oh, Doctor, I love you.'"

"So? She smiles every time she sees you. I'm surprised you can't hear her heart beating when you're with her because it beats 10 times more than it should when you talk to her. She nearly faints at the quote-on-quote 'adorable' way you say her name. She's head over heels in love with you! She spent the entire time you were gone last Wednesday crying, thinking you didn't love her back!" Angie spills.

_Clara.. Love.. Me..?_

"And we know you love her back. You were staring at her eyes for a full 5 minutes when we were walking up the stairs. You fell over because you saw her. You melt when she calls you 'Chin'. It's so clear! You both love each other, so make a move! I don't know how much longer Clara can take." Angie says.

"You're absolutely sure that Clara loves me? She's actually said those words?"

Angie suddenly looks unsure, a clear sign that this is a bad idea. As much as I want it, it's a bad idea.

"She never actually said.. She told me she's confused on how she feels.. She doesn't know if she loves you and she doesn't know what to do if she _does _love you, but it's clear to me, Artie, even my dad, that she's in love with you. Help her figure it out."

I look to Artie who hasn't spoken for the last few minutes.

"She's right, Doctor. Angie's always right. Trust her." He says, taking the hint that I wanted his input.

"Okay.. But if this goes wrong, I'm blaming you. No trips for.. a month."

They both look at me in shock, then turn to each other and grin.

"Fine." Angie says, then gets up from her chair and walks to the kitchen. Artie lays down on the rest of the couch and flips on the TV.

Moments later, I hear the sound of a car door closing, and soon see my gorgeous Clara walk through the door.

"Angie? Artie? I'm home!" she calls as she walks further in.

"Hi Clara!" Artie says, Angie following close behind with a simple, "Hey."

Clara places the carton of eggs along with a bag on the kitchen table, then turns around.

"Oh, hi Doctor!" she says, a smile appearing on her face.

"Hi Clara!" I sat, returning the smile.

Angie looks to me from behind Clara and mouths "Do it!"

"Clara, can I talk to you in the TARDIS?" I ask gently.

"Sure. Are we going somewhere after? I don't want to leave the kids here."

"They can come! The more the merrier!" I say, and we all walk out the front door of the house and into the TARDIS parked around the corner.

"So, whatcha wanna talk about?" Clara asks.

I look at Angie and Artie and give Clara an unsure smile.

"Oh, uh, why don't you two go down to the swimming pool?" Clara asks them.

"We don't know where it is." Artie says, but Angie quickly claps a hand over his mouth.

"We'll find it." She smiles at us.

"No, wait. Why don't Clara and I just go to a different room? It'll be easier than them getting lost." I bargain.

"Okay." Clara says, then turns to the children. "Stay here. Don't touch anything. We'll be right back."

I smile at her then take her hand and lead her to a room a few hallways away. When I open the door, she's astonished.

The room is designed to look like you're standing amongst the starts.

Clara and I walk in and stand right in the middle of the room, gazing around at all the stars, holding hands.

"Wow.." she says, clearly astonished.

"Yeah." I say. "I'm used to the room. I come here at night sometimes. Whenever I miss you."

She looks at me both confusedly and happily.

"What d'you mean?" she asks. "Why here?"

"The stars remind me of you." I smile at her.

"Thanks." She says, smiling as well.

"Clara, I think.. I mean, I sort of.."

"Go on, spit it out, Chin." She laughs.

I decide that words are definitely not going to show my love for her, and make a daring move.

My hand lets go of hers and moves to the small of her back, while the other politely takes her by the waist.

I bring her in closer to me, shut my eyes, and close the gap between out already close faces with a kiss.

We stand together for a minute, then she back away from me.

"I'm sorry, that was too forward, I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry." I spit out nervously.

"I.." she starts, taken off-guard by my action.

"I'm so sorry, Clara."

"I think I need a break. From this. I just need time to think.. I'm sorry" She says and dashes out of the room, tears streaming down her face.

I stand alone in the middle of the room, blankly staring at the door, trying my hardest not to cry.

Suddenly, Artie and Angie appear in the doorway.

"How long have you been standing there?" I ask in almost a whisper.

"Since 'The stars remind me of you.'" Artie says.

"I'm sorry." Angie says, moving closer to me.

"I think you should go." I say, and to my surprise, they listen.

Again, I'm standing alone in the middle of the room of stars. Except now, tears are falling.


	6. Chapter 6

_Hey everybody! Thanks for over 1,000 views! I'm so glad you guys like the story and want to keep reading it! It's gonna get really interesting! Follow/Favorite/review! Enjoy!_

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Doctor Who or any of its characters._

* * *

_Ohh, God. I can't handle this, I can't handle this._

I collapse onto my bed and stare at the ceiling, suddenly picturing a black hole, hoping all my troubles would fall into it.

A trick I taught myself after my mum died.

Sometimes, like now, it doesn't work.

I reach over to the table next to my bed and find my remote. Once it's in my hand, I sit up and turn on some music. Specifically a playlist of my saddest songs.

I fall back onto my bed once more and place my hands over my tear-stained face, beginning to process what just happened.

_Why is he doing this to me? He pretends all day that he doesn't care about me, making fun of me.. And then goes and kisses me._

_What did he think I was going to do? That I was just going to melt in his arms and kiss him back? I mean, sure, I would've loved to kiss him.. but I'm glad I didn't._

I remove my hands from my face and just lay there, thinking over everything.

_..Am I, though?_

_But wait, he didn't say he loved me, or even that he liked me. Just that he misses me sometimes. And then kissed me._

_God, I am so _**thick**. _He probably did it because he felt bad for me. He probably knows exactly how I feel about him, and he did it to play with me. Artie and Angie must've told him I love him._

_Wait.._

I sit up straight and wipe the tears from my face, realizing what I've just thought.

_Oh, my God. I love him._

Before I can deny, let alone _process _my last thought, a knock comes from the door.

"Clara..?" Comes a small, feminine voice.

"Who is it?" I say, very unevenly.

"It's Angie. Can I come in, please?"

I clear my throat, trying to make my voice steady, and reply, "Uhm, yeah, fine."

She opens the door a bit, and walks in, carefully shutting it behind her.

I wipe yet another tear from my cheek using the palm of my hand, and Angie, taking note of this, immediately comes to my side.. and hugs me.

"Clara, can we please talk about this?"

"There's nothing to talk about, Angie." I say, then walking to my bed, Angie still attached at the hip.

"Yes there is! You know there is!"

"No, there's not, Angie. It's nothing. Okay? Nothing. Now please, just leave me alone." I snap at her.

She looks at me like I've just torn out her heart.

"Okay. I- okay." She says, and stands up from the bed.

"No, Angie, wait." I say as she begins to leave.

She turns back to me, her eyes on the verge of tears. "It's okay, Clara. I understand."

"Angie.. Please, come back."

"Clara, it's clear you just want to be alone. And I understand that. But pushing me away isn't going to help. It'll only make you feel worse. I'll come back up in 15 minutes.. okay?" she says.

"I'm not trying to push you away, Angie. It's just, everything is happening really fast and I don't know what to do about it all." I say, trying not to cry. My attempts are unsuccessful, and a tear breaks free, rolling down my cheek and hitting the floor.

Angie walks back over to me and sits down, hugging me once more. This time, I hug back.

"Sweetie, what are you confused about? Because right now, this whole situation doesn't make any sense. You love him, and that's clear. He loves you. He made a move, and suddenly you're taking a break from traveling with him and upstairs crying alone in your room. So tell me.. Why are you confused?"

We break apart, and I look at her, staining the white carpet on my floor with mascara-filled tears.

"He just did it to pity me, Angie. That's all. That's the only reason. He felt bad that I love him and he doesn't love me back, so he kissed me. There was nothing behind it. Every day, he acts like he doesn't care about me, then suddenly he kisses me. There's no other explanation for it."

"Of course, there is! He's in love with you! He didn't do it to pity you, he did it because we told him to!"

"You told him to?" I say, disbelieving that she and Artie would do this to me.

"No, Clara, not like that." She starts as I stand up and back away from her.

"You told him to kiss me? Angie, I trusted you! I told you how I felt about him and you went and threw it in my face. God, how could you?"

"No, it's not-"

"Hah. You know, you think you know someone. You tell them everything and trust them with your life," I begin, then walk towards the door and pick up my jacket from the rack next to it. I turn back around and face her. "Then they stab you in the back."

By this time, Angie is fully crying. "Please, Clara."

"I'm done dealing with this." I say, then walk out the door and slam it behind me.

_My own fault for thinking I could trust someone 9 years younger than me._

"Hey Clara!" Artie says.

Blatantly ignoring him, I run directly out the front door, not stopping for anything.

The TARDIS is gone from where it's usually parked.

_Weird.. I didn't hear him leave._

I continue running until I arrive in Chiswick Park. Not far from the Maitlands' home.

From there, I take a bus to wherever.

About an hour later, the bus stops, and I find myself getting off in the dark.

There's not much around, just a bench next to the bus stop and what looks like a gas station across the street.

I take advantage of the bench, and splay myself out over it. All the thoughts of the day come rushing back and I can't keep my eyes dry for even a second.

I close my eyes and the tears break free from under my eyelids and soft sobs escape from my mouth.

_What the hell do I do?_

I hope to God that no one can see me right now, because I'm sure I'm a complete wreck.

_Where am I?_

I sit up and look around for a sign, any indication of where I might be. When I can't find anything, I grudgingly get up from the bench and walk across the street to the gas station.

"Whoo. Haven't seen you around here before! What can I get 'ya, gorgeous?" the man behind the counter says.

_People are so gross, I swear._

"Don't call me that. I just need to know what town this is." I snap.

"Geez, no need to be snappy."

"Listen, I've had one of the worst days in my life today. Just tell me where I am."

"You're in Oxford."

_Oxford. Close to where mum's buried._

"Thanks." I say, walking out of the store. The gas station is deserted, as is the area surrounding it, but I don't care. There's only one person I want to be with right now.

_Mum._


	7. Chapter 7

_Hey everybody! Ugh, I just can't stay away from writing this story, I love it so much! Thanks for over 1,800 views! I'm glad you guys like reading this! Leave me your thoughts/concerns or things you liked/want to see in the reviews, don't forget to favorite and follow too if you haven't already! This chapter is a bit shorter, but I think it's really heartfelt and I hope you like it. Thank you to everyone who's been reviewing, it means a lot! Also, the italics in quotation marks are a letter. Not the Doctor's thoughts. Just thought I'd clear that up. Enjoy!_

* * *

I pace back and forth in the console room, not sure what to do with myself.

_Where did I go wrong? Angie and Artie said she loved me.._

They left the TARDIS when I told them too, which was nice. Maybe they're just as confused as I am.

There's no way I can blame them for this. They looked genuinely shocked after everything happened.

_Maybe I should go check up on Clara, try to apologize. Explain myself._

I stop pacing and make my way to the door, stopping myself before I get there.

_Wait.. No. Maybe this isn't a good idea.. She probably needs space. Space, yeah. That's it. I'll give her space._

My body makes its way back to the console and turns off the lights in the room.

_Guess I'll just go to bed then.. I haven't slept for a few days.. I could use the energy after today._

I make my way over to the stairs leading to my room, then stop at the bottom of them.

_This is wrong. I can't just leave her without saying anything.. I'll write her a note. Yes! Notes! Brilliant inventions!_

I decide it best to write in the library, the most calming of places in the TARDIS.

When I arrive, my favorite chair is waiting for me, but before I sit down, I grab a pen and paper from one of the nearest shelves.

Making myself comfortable, I sit down in the chair and begin to write my letter to Clara.

_"My dearest Clara,_

_ I don't know what to say, and that's how I know things are bad, because I always have something to say. I just want you to know that I never meant to hurt you. Never ever. If I ever did, I don't know how I could live with myself. Now, I fear I have hurt you. The worst part is, I don't know how. And that's killing me. I don't know where I went wrong, and I don't know how to fix this. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Clara."_

I stop writing when I find a tear drop right in the center of the page. Deciding it didn't matter, I continue writing the letter.

_"Normally when something bad happens, humans tend to want to go back to the moment it happened and fix it. But that's the difference between humans and time lords. We know that sometimes, there are fixed points, which can never be re-written. Even though that kiss wasn't a fixed point, I'd never change that moment. Because for the first time, the first REAL time.. We kissed. I wouldn't take that back for anything. The way that made me feel.. I've never felt that way with someone. I think I really love you Clara. You know what, no. I know I really love you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. As soon as your adorably petite body stepped into my TARDIS holding that tea cup, going on about how it's 'Bigger.. On the inside.. Actually bigger', I knew I was going to love traveling with you. Little did I know that soon, I'd love more than just traveling with you. I love everything about you. The way you laugh. How adorable you get when you're frustrated. Your beautiful, silky, shiny brown hair that makes me want to run my hands through it all day. Those beautifully big, brown eyes that look at me so tenderly. Your small body; I wish I could just hold you and never let go. You're beautiful. So beautiful. Though you may not be to you, you're perfect in my eyes."_

I wipe a tear from my cheek, trying not to let any more spill onto the paper. For the first time in a long time, I'm letting myself be honest. Because that's what Clara deserves; the pure, honest truth.

_"You'll never understand how much it hurts me to know that you don't notice how perfect you are. I look into your eyes and not only see the beauty, but the pain, sadness, and insecurity behind it. Even if we can't be something more.. I'd like it if we could still be friends. Know that I'm always here for you to talk, pick you back up again when you fall, or just listen when you need me to. I've helped so many, Clara. If I could help you get rid of all that sadness, pain and insecurity, that would be the biggest reward. For the first time, the Doctor has run out of words. So I guess I'll just leave you with.. Goodbye, my impossible girl._

_ ~The Doctor"_

I take the letter and begin to fold it up, then remember something I've forgotten. In small print, below my signature, is something she needs to know, whether I see her again or not.

_"I love you."_

"It's all wrong. It's completely wrong."

I crumple up the piece of paper and throw it across the room, suddenly filled with anger.

"God, I can't do anything right! Every time I try, it fails! I am _nothing _without Clara! Yet, here I am, sitting alone in the library! I've messed everything up!"

My rage turns to sadness, and I find myself collapsing to the floor, choking out small sobs.

"I've messed everything up." I whisper. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

I turn over onto my back and look up at the ceiling, which extends very high up.

_Regeneration wouldn't be possible if I fell from up there._

I slowly try to pick myself up, but am defeated by my complete lack of energy.

_No. You're not letting yourself do that._

Still crying a bit, I crawl to the chair in the library and pull myself up onto it. I breathe out heavily, letting the tears slip out from under my closed eyelids.

After a few sleepless, thought-filled hours, my mind drifts to sleep, not letting anything else get in the way anymore.

_I'm sorry, Clara. I'm so, so sorry._


	8. Chapter 8

_Wooooahhhhhh almost 2,500 views! And thank you everybody for the reviews! I'm so glad you guys love the story as much as I am! Eeeeeppp! So, I have the story planned out for 25 chapters, but I know I want to do more. There's a topic I'm still debating on using, so I'll ask you guys for help on that when we get closer to the end of my planning. Thanks everybody! Please follow/favorite and review, because I love your feedback:] _

_PS. I just finished watching all of Jenna in Emmerdale and oh my stars, she is the most brilliant actress ever. The only one who's ever actually made me cry. So much respect for her. If you wanna check it out, PM me for the link. You won't regret it! Okay, on with the story._

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Doctor Who or any of its characters._

The bus stops after about half an hour and I get off. Ahead of me is an iron gate, serving as the entrance to the cemetery.

My mind mentally prepares itself to see the sight once more after not having seen it for a few months.

I walk to the gate and gently push it open, not remembering how loud of a squeak it makes.

The sky is dark, and very few stars are out. The air is brisk, making me shiver a bit.

I soon find my mum's grave, exactly where I'd left it last. I make myself comfortable on the ground in front of it.

"Hey mum." I say shakily. "It's been a bit since I last visited. About.."

I struggle to remember todays date and soon give up on the sentence.

"Nevermind that.. It's probably after midnight by now.. I bet you're wondering why I'm here.."

I pause, stupidly waiting for a response.

_Right._

"Do you remember when I told you about the Doctor? The tall, funny, handsome Doctor?"

I wipe a tear from my cheek, reminding myself of why I'm here.

"Something happened with him and I really need you right now."

The wind blows a bit, shaking a few of the trees back and forth. Eerie shadows dance across the grounds

"He- he kissed me, mum, and I don't know what to do. I wanted him to kiss me, I really did. But why would the Doctor kiss me? Why would anyone? He insists it's because he really likes me.. But I know it's not. It just doesn't make any sense. After he did it.. I left. Ran straight to my room and cried. I told him I needed to take a break. And Angie came up. You remember her, right? Sweet little Angie Maitland? Yeah well, she really isn't all that sweet. I found out she and Artie told the Doctor to kiss me."

I hear a few twigs snap and turn my head around, searching for any sign of anyone, but no one is there. I turn my head slowly back to my mother.

Her grave, I mean.

"Anyway, um, Angie. She played it cool and talked to me about this whole situation.. Egging me on. Setting me up for heartbreak. I trusted her, and she hurt me. Just like everyone else.. Now.. I have no one. Angie and Artie are gone. The Doctor is gone. Who else do I have, besides you?"

I clean my face of any tears before turning around to my backpack.

"I brought something for you." I say, turning around with my favorite book in hand.

_"101 Places to See. _I never leave without it."

I flip through the pages and look at the newest adventures.

"I've added more in here. Places you'd never believe. A planet called Akhaten. A sinking submarine in the Atlantic. Sweetville.. Though I don't remember much of that place. Um.. the moon! Yes, I've been to the moon.. Wow, what an adventure that was."

Behind me, someone laughs, but when I turn around, no one is there.

"Alright, game's over. I know someone's there. Come out." I snap.

"I knew you'd be here." I hear a soft voice say.

As she emerges from behind a tree, I realize it's Angie.

"You always come here when you need to talk."

I turn my body to face her, and an awkward silence fills the air.

"I'm sorry, Clara."

"Seems like that's all anyone ever is. Sorry."

"I really am. Please, give me a chance to explain myself?" she begs.

"I don't know how that could change things."

"It will. I promise. Please, Clara."

I debate the plea for a moment, then speak.

"Okay. Go ahead."

She sighs of relief, then begins talking. I can see her fiddling with her hands, a clear sign of nerves.

"The Doctor talks to Artie sometimes, and he's figured out that the Doctor really likes you. But it's much more than that. He really loves you. When he came before.. you were out. So, we decided to talk to him. We told him that you love him back, because I know that you do."

I open my mouth to speak, but she cuts me off.

"Don't try to argue it, Clara. You know that it's true."

I close my mouth, feeling defeated.

"Exactly. The Doctor really cares for you and we know that.. So we told him to make a move. That's what I meant. I wasn't trying to spite you, Clara. I was trying to help you."

There is a short pause, presumably because Angie is waiting for a response.

"I didn't know he'd kiss you. I thought maybe he'd just hug you or ask you out or something. We had no idea he'd be so forward.. But is that a reason to stay away from him? Because he caught you off-guard? Clara, you love him. He loves you. You have so much fun together in that TARDIS, I've seen it. Go back to him, and kiss him like you know you want to."

There's another pause, this time much longer.

"You can hate me if you want. Just don't hate him. He's trying his best." Angie finally says, standing up. "I think I'll go."

"You're right." I say quietly.

"What?" she says, turning around.

"You're right. I do love him. I'm just being childish. I left telling myself I needed time to think about all this. But now that I do, there's nothing to think about. I love him, and I want to be with him. So I will."

Angie smiles and hugs me.

"I'm glad you're finally set with this. I'm happy for you." She says.

"And Angie.. I don't hate you. I was too quick to judge. I'm sorry"

"Don't worry about it. You were having a really rough day. It's no big deal."

"I shouldn't have lashed out at you like that. I feel absolutely awful."

"Don't. It's not a problem. Now, call the Doctor and let him know that you're ready to come back."

"I left my phone at the house."

"You can use mine," she laughs.

"Thank you." I say.

She begins to walk away, but I quickly remember something I have to do.

"I'll meet you in a sec, okay?"

"Alright." Angie replies.

I turn back around and face my mum's grave.

"I miss you so much. I love you." I say, trying not to cry. "And thank you."

Putting the book back in my bag, I run back over to Angie, who is now near the iron gate.

"I'll call him and you can talk, okay?" she says.

She hands me the phone and I can hear it ring. After a few rings, I give up, handing her back the phone.

"He didn't pick up?" Angie asks.

"No. And he probably won't for a while. I hope he's not mad.." I say, beginning to freak myself out.

"Don't worry about it! He's probably just out."

"Yeah.. yeah, you're right."

"Let's get home, yeah? It's cold."

I laugh as we walk to the bus station and wait for the next bus to take us home.

_What a day._


	9. Chapter 9

_Hellooo again! I'm so happy with the reviews you guys are leaving! Thank you! I'm glad I can brighten your day with my fan fic! Hahah. Oh and guess what? Over 3,000 views! Oh my stars! Thank you my loves! Thank you so much! I'll get right to the chapter! Review/favorite/follow please :]_

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Doctor Who or any of its characters._

The TARDIS flies smoothly through space this time, as if it's controlling itself.

When it lands, I step out cautiously, not knowing where I am.

The coordinates were set to bring me to River Song, but I have no idea where she is or what she's doing here. All I know is, she's close.

_I can smell her hairspray._

"River?" I yell, looking all around for her. "River!"

"Hello, sweetie." She says, causing me to turn my head.

She is laying down in a hammock tied between two trees, reading an Amelia Williams novel.

"Isn't this book fantastic? I love it! Well done, mum." She says, standing from the hammock and tossing the book aside.

"River, I need to talk to you."

Her face falls and she quickly becomes very serious.

"What's happened? What's wrong?"

I take her seat on the hammock and she soon follows me over, sitting directly next to me.

"What's wrong, hun?" she says, lightly rubbing my back.

"It's this thing with Clara. I don't really know how I should handle it."

"Well, maybe I can help. Tell me what happened."

"The Maitland kids- you know them, right? Angie and Artie? Anyway, they're these two kids Clara looks after and they told me that Clara is in love with me, and that they think I'm in love with her."

River cuts me off, "Are you?"

_Am I?_

"I think so… Anyway, they told me to make a move before it was too late.. and I did. But when I did it, Clara got really upset and ran off.. Long story short, she's not traveling with me anymore and I don't know if I can handle it."

"What did you do?"

"What do you mean, what did I do? I didn't do anything! Not that I know.." I reply.

"No. You made a move. What did you do?"

Embarrassment creeps up on me and my face turns a bright red shade.

"I might have.. kissed her."

"Okay. So. Maybe you are in love with her."

I stand from the hammock, suddenly feeling very stupid, and walk back over to the TARDIS.

"Why am I asking my _wife _for help with another woman? I'm possibly the most daft man in the world."

"No arguing with that one." She says slyly. Her tone softens. "But I understand. I'm not around often. You barely know me. And Clara is quite the girl. It makes sense. I'm okay with it."

I turn back around to her, a very shocked expression on my face.

"You're okay?"

"Yes. But clearly, you're not. Sit back down." She demands.

I do as I'm told and sit back down next to her.

"I don't think you did anything wrong. Maybe she's just confused. She probably didn't know you felt the same way back. Maybe she thought you were playing her."

"I'd never do that. Not to Clara. Not ever." I say defensively.

"I know that. But she might not. Have you tried apologizing? I mean, I know it's not really your thing but.."

"No, I haven't. I didn't want to visit her in case she hated me or something. I wrote her a note.." I say, pulling the crumpled up piece of paper out of my pocket.

"Why haven't you given it to her?" River says as she reads it.

"I don't know. It'll probably make things worse."

"It may confuse her more, yeah." She says, handing it back to me.

"So what do I do? I can't just leave her forever. It'd hurt too much."

"Give her a little bit of time to sort through her feelings. Don't visit her for a bit. Last time we talked you said you only go out with her on Wednesdays? Give it 3 Wednesdays then."

"Maybe that's a good idea." I say.

"You know it is. I know it'll be hard, but you want her happy. So let her have some time to herself."

"Okay." I say, heading back into the TARDIS. "And River? Thank you."

"No problem sweetie." She smiles.

As I reach for the door to the TARDIS, I hear something terrifying come from behind me.

_A shriek._

When I look back, River is gone. Not anywhere in sight.

"River? River!" I say, running all over. When I don't find her, I run to the other side of wherever-the-hell-I-am-land and search for her there.

But all of my efforts were to no avail, as she was still completely gone.

Her TARDIS-shaped diary, however, was waiting for me on the hammock when I returned back to the TARDIS.

"Where are you?" I ask, holding the book in my hands.

From nearby I hear a whisper.

"Spoilers."

"River?" I say, lifting my head from its place atop the book.

"Just wanted to see if you'd still look for me." She says as she steps out from behind a nearby tree.

"You little.. Dalek!"

She laughs and lays back down on the hammock, picking the Amelia Williams book up off of the ground.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a book to continue reading."

I roll my eyes at her and head back into the TARDIS. When I enter, it is chilly.

It's been cold- and somewhat dark- since Clara left.

_She really does light up a room._

I decide I should wait before popping into the Wednesday 3 weeks from now.

Well, when I say now I mean, from Clara's point of view, not mine. I have no idea what time I'm even in right now..

_Wibbly Wobbly, Timey Wimey._

My brain comes to the decision that an adventure will help clear my mind.

_But where?_

Without thinking, I type random coordinates and time into the center console, and before I know it, I'm off flying through time and space.

Soon, I arrive. I open the doors to the TARDIS and step out, taking a whiff of the air surrounding me.

"Ahhh." I say, exhaling. "New York. 1920's."

I suddenly feel a wave of sadness, brought on by memory.

_Clara's favorite time and place._

The TARDIS brought me here, disregarding my coordinates, in an attempt to force me to think of Clara.

_Stupid cow._

The machine hums angrily, hearing my thoughts.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry." I say quickly.

The weirdest sensation comes to me, and I immediately rush back into the console room.

I run to the console and pick up the TARDIS mobile, feeling like I just might need it soon.

Once it's in my pocket, I exit the TARDIS, and get on with my journey.

Again, I sniff the air around me.

"1920's New York. Let's try this again." I say, hopping off.

_Make this one good._


	10. Chapter 10

**TRIGGER WARNING. This chapter describes some events that may be a trigger for some readers. Please, stop reading now if you're one of those readers. This chapter does not mean to offend anyone, or anything of that nature. Thanks.**_ Hi my loves! Oh my stars, almost 4,000 views! I'm so grateful! This chapter is already my favorite and I haven't even started writing it yet. It's just… ahhh. If I caught Jenna in this situation I would break down crying. I just can't even. Omg okay, I should start writing. Enjoy. Review/favorite/follow pweeassseee! This chapter is M and you'll find out why when you read it._

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Doctor Who or any of its characters._

* * *

It's been two weeks since the day I ran out on the Doctor.

We haven't been able to get in touch with him, either. He must've left his mobile in the TARDIS like to the silly man he is.

_I knew he didn't care. He's probably got another girl in that stupid snog box of his. He forgot all about me already._

He hasn't come to get for adventures the last two Wednesdays. Today's Friday.

He didn't even bother to leave a note or anything. He truly doesn't care that I'm gone.

To him, I'm just a pathetic little girl who flips out at the smallest things.

_What's the point of traveling with him again? Angie insisted it's the best thing to do. Forgive him._

I curl up into a ball on my bed and begin to sob quietly.

Seems like that's all I'm doing lately. Sitting alone in my room and crying my eyes out. Ignoring the world.

From downstairs I faintly hear, "Clara! Dinner!" from Angie.

I completely disregard the comment and continue crying, closing my eyes.

_How do I forgive him if he won't stop by or answer my calls._

I've gave up calling him last Wednesday. I figured if he wasn't answering, he didn't want to talk to me.

_I want to continue traveling with him. I love him so much. Him being away from me for the past 2 weeks has been killing me slowly. I want to forgive him._

The more I think about it, though, I realize that there is absolutely nothing to forgive him for. He didn't do anything wrong.

I'm the one who did wrong. I acted like a baby and made a big deal of nothing at all. It's entirely my fault he won't talk to me anymore.

_He probably hates me. He must've gone back to the console and got rid of any trace I was even there after I left. He'll never ask me to come back now._

If he never comes back.. Then what do I have to live for? What at all? There's nothing left. Sure, there's Angie, but she wouldn't care. And Dad.. But he's never around. He'd never even know.

My head slowly lifts, and I find myself looking at my closet, longing to have it be the last thing I see.

_There are some belts in there. And hangers. So much you can do with them._

My once-dry eyes are starting to tear once more, knowing my thinking is wrong.

_But everything would disappear. The drama. The pain. It'll all be gone._

I pick myself up off my bed and walk to the closet, mentally preparing myself.

"No." I whisper. "This is wrong."

I make my way away from the closet and back onto my bed.

"There has to be another way" I choke out, still crying.

I lie down, and stare at the ceiling, picturing the black hole once more.

My troubles seem to fling away from the collapsing star, as if they want to torture me for a while longer.

I reach over to my side table and pick up my remote.

"Clara! Are you coming down or no?!" Angie yells downstairs.

"No. Not hungry." I yell back unevenly.

I switch on my music and close my eyes, letting my mind relax with the rhythm of the music.

Even that wasn't working. Finally, I decide nothing is going to work.

I grudgingly pick myself up and walk into the bathroom, running the water in the bath.

After a few moments, I turn off the water, pour in some soap, and get ready to get in.

I step in cautiously, not sure of how hot the water is, then get in fully. I close my eyes and lean against the back of the tub, letting the warm water surround my body.

My hair is tied back, in fear of getting the straightened strands wet, and one of my arms hangs out over the side of the tub.

I exhale deeply and open my eyes, surveying my surroundings. The music is still playing in my room and the lights in the bathroom are dimmed. A very peaceful environment.

But no matter how peaceful the surroundings are, nothing could take away the pain I feel right now. My eyes begin to water, yet again, and I reach up to wipe the tears that are now spilling down my cheeks.

As I bring my hand back down into the water, my arm bumps into the soap holder, sending the razor and soap bar splashing into the bath.

I pick them both back up and hesitate before putting the razor back into the holder.

_Maybe this is exactly what I need._

Without thinking, I remove the blade from the razor, and set the razor aside.

My eyes are fixed on the sharp edges of the blade, wondering how much damage it could possibly do.

Mascara-filled tear droplets fall into the water, staining parts of it black.

I bring the blade to the arm draped over the edge of the tub, and slowly retract that arm, holding it over the bath water.

_If I'm going to do this, I don't want any evidence._

The blade slowly makes its way to my wrist, and the next thing I know, thick liquid is freely flowing from 6 wounds in my arm. The water around me is stained crimson.

My arm is slightly numb, and I can feel the angst disappear.

Everything in the world feels calm and at peace.

"Clara?" I hear as my bedroom door opens. "I heard the water running so I thought I'd bring you up your dinner to have in the bath."

_Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no._

I push my arm under the water and try to rid my arm of the blood.

Angie pushes the bathroom door open slowly and steps in, her voice very soft. "Clara?"

The platter of food drops to the floor with a loud 'crash.'

Angie looks at me in horror and devastation.

"Clara." She whispers.

She breaks down crying as she walks to the side of the tub and kneels down. She takes my arm and examines it. She looks up at me, completely distraught, and rubs my arm softly with her thumb.

"I'm so sorry, Angie."

She takes the blade out of the water and puts it on the sink. Taking her mobile out of her pocket, she steps into my room.

"Hello?" I hear her say. "I need your help."

She pauses, seemingly waiting for a response.

"It's important. Clara's in danger."

Another pause.

"I don't know. I'll let her tell you when you get here. Now, please, get over here soon."

I hear her phone snap shut and soon, she emerges in the bathroom once more.

"Clara."


	11. Chapter 11

_Hey guys. It's come to my attention that the last chapter was really emotional. I'm sorry if it was over the line or anything like that, I didn't mean it to be like that. I just thought maybe it would make for a good story-line. Totally wasn't intended to make anyone upset or anything. On a lighter note, things get better for Clara in this chapter and this one is a bit longer than normal. I think you guys will really like this chapter. I know I do! Enjoy! Favorite/follow please, and leave me your thoughts in the reviews! Thanks for all the positive feedback! Also! I update every day, no matter what, so you don't have to worry about me not updating lol. On with the story!_

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Doctor Who or any of its characters._

I walk around New York for a bit and find an old-style pizzeria.

Well, old-style to me. Not them.. Oh, you get it.

The smell of fresh pizza fills the air around me and I can't help but smile.

I step up to the counter to order when my phone rings. Stepping aside and away from the line, I answer the call.

_No one ever calls this number.._

"Heeello?"

"Hello? I need your help."

"Angie? Wha-?" I start

"It's important. Clara's in danger."

I could feel my heart drop and dig into the floor.

"Is she okay? What happened, what's going on?"

"I don't know. I'll let her tell you when you get here. Now, please, get here soon."

"Oh my God, okay." I say shakily.

I push my way through the now crowded line, apologizing as I go, and burst through the pizzeria's front door.

The TARDIS is about 3 blocks away, but I don't care. I run the entire way there, not stopping for anything at all.

Once I approach the machine, I'm completely out of breath. I feel around for the key and when I find it, I turn the lock and push the doors open.

I slam them shut behind me and go over to the console, preparing to fly.

The TARDIS hums angrily for the way I'm treating her.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, but this is important. Clara's in danger. Please, I'm sorry."

She cooperates and allows me to fly. Soon, the TARDIS lands in the Maitlands' driveway.

I get out and run to the door, opening it myself and running upstairs to Clara's room, not bothering where I left the machine or the rudeness of my entry.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Maitland, this is important!" I call as I run up the stairs.

I knock on Clara's door fast, not wanting to be rude to her. _Especially_ not to her.

Seconds later, Angie opens the door.

"Angie? Where's Clara?" I say, rushing into the room.

"She's in the bathroom."

Her face is a shade of red I've never seen before and her eyes are bloodshot.

_She's been crying.._

I look over to the bathroom door to see it closed. When I go over and knock, a shaky, uneven voice replies.

"Uhm, one-one second."

_Something is wrong. Something is very, very wrong._

The door slowly opens and I see Clara, looking as normal as ever.

"Clara.." I whisper.

She is, to say the least, breathtaking.

Her hair is swept back into a beautiful bun, her bangs hanging over the right side of her face. She's wearing a simple purple dress, short-sleeved, and collared. It hangs to a bit above her knees, tied together with a black belt and her famous boots.

"You said she was in danger." I say to Angie.

"She is. You two. TARDIS. Go." She says, ushering us out of the room.

She disappears once we reach the steps, and I take that as a sign that we're going to be alone.

I look over to Clara and see the pain behind her beautiful eyes once more.

Only this time, the pain is intensified, looking much different than normal.

Faint tear streaks run down her cheeks, clearly trying to be hidden by makeup.

I smile at her reassuringly and take her soft hand into mine. Together, we walk down the stairs.

"Is everything okay? You were in kind of a rush." Mr. Maitland asks.

"Fine, fine. We're going to go out for a bit. Should be back soon." Clara states.

Mr. Maitland nods, and we take that as our signal to leave.

Clara looks terrified at the sight of the deep blue box sitting right in the driveway, but we press on and enter it.

"So, are we gonna go somewhere?" she asks.

"Not until you tell me why Angie called me."

"It's nothing, really. She thought she saw something out the window and freaked out. She's been paranoid since after the Cybermen drama."

"You're absolutely sure."

"Mhmm." She says, reaching her arm out and leaning on the console.

"So then why was Angie crying?" I question.

"Like I said, she was paranoid."

"Okay. Then why were _you _crying?"

"What?" she asked looking flabbergasted.

"I can see right through your makeup, Clara.. Your cheeks are stained with tear marks."

"I've just been having a rough day, is all."

_That's not true and I know it._

I eye her suspiciously and she throws me a smile. That's when I see her arm.

My eyes grow wide, and she stands there, completely oblivious.

_No. No, no, no. Not Clara. No, she wouldn't do that. Never._

"What? What's wrong?"

"Clara.."

She quickly picks up the hint.

"That's what Angie said when.." she starts, then trails off.

She looks down and notices her arm on the console.

"Doctor, I-"

"Why?" I ask.

The cuts on her arm are covered in makeup; like she was trying to hide them from me.

"I just." She says. Her eyes are beginning to water, and I know this is going to a dark place.

"Come here." I say, pulling her in to me.

At that point, she collapsed in my arms and began to softly sob, a sound that makes me ache deep into my bones.

"Shh.." I say slightly, stroking her hair. "Let's go somewhere, yeah?"

She breaks from my hold and I again take her soft hand, leading her into the library.

"Here." I say softly, motioning for her to take a seat in my chair. I bring another chair up and place it across from her, then sit in it.

"What's going on, Clara?"

She looks at me softly, the tears no longer falling, but stuck in her eyes.

"I told you, I was just having a rough day.. More like a rough couple of weeks.."

"Since that day? What happened there, anyway?"

"I just got a little confused. I wasn't exactly sure why you kissed me and whether or not I wanted you to."

I lean in closer to her and tuck her bangs behind her ear.

"I kissed you because I love you."

"I love you too. It just.. it took me longer to realize it than you."

_Sh_e does_ love me._

I feel myself smile, and suddenly I see a small smile creep up on Clara's face, causing her adorable dimples to show.

"Why did you do this, though?" I ask.

She picks up her left arm with her right hand and looks at it regretfully.

"You hadn't come for 2 weeks. No note, no calls.. Nothing.. I thought maybe you didn't want me to travel with you anymore. You were mad or- or didn't care and I just couldn't handle the thoughts. No matter what I did, they just kept coming back and I couldn't stop them."

"Clara.. I didn't come because I thought you needed space. If you left me, I would die and make sure I wouldn't get a regeneration. I've lost so many, and I've been so very badly hurt, but if you left me, it would kill me. You mean the world to me. I will always care about you, even when you don't care about yourself. It's physically impossible for me to be mad at you, especially with a heart like yours. I'm just sorry I didn't get to you in time. I'm so sorry, Clara. But I love you so much. Please… _please _don't do this again. Every scar on your arm makes my hearts break even more. I'd be lost without you." I say, causing her to look up.

I take her arm from her and lightly rub my thumb across it. Slowly, I bring my head to her wrist, and kiss the wounds.

I look up to her and place her arm back at her side.

She looks to me, her face full of expression.

The next thing I know, she's moving closer. Finally, the gap between us closes.

Our lips touch and my stomach ties in knots.

Without thinking, I begin to kiss back, and eventually, we break apart.

"Wow." Clara exhales, smiling.

I smile back, then motion for her to come closer.

"Come here."

She does as I say and sits on my lap, exactly as I want her to.

I wrap my arm around her, and put my hand in my jacket pocket, feeling around for the item I'm looking for.

Moments later, I pull a crumpled piece of paper out of my pocket and hand it to her.

When she takes the paper, I wrap my other arm around her, holding her close to me.

"What's this?" she asks.

"I did write you a letter."

"Why is it crumpled?"

"I might've thought it was stupid and threw it across the library.."

She laughs at my stupidity and leans into me, making herself comfortable.

"Read it to me." She says softly, handing me the paper.

"Sure."

She closes her eyes and I lightly clear my throat, then begin.

_"My dearest Clara.."_


	12. Chapter 12

_Heyyyyy guys. Cool, new chapter! I hope you guys liked that chapter because I loved writing it. Mmmm. Fluff. Best thing ever. Especially Whouffle fluff! Anyway, yeah. Oh, in regards to the comment about Clara being_ _Angie's nanny, I totally didn't even think of that. Whoops! The dinner reference was supposed to be like, Mr. Maitland cooked because he knew Clara wasn't feeling very well, which is also why she hasn't been doing things lately but in earlier chapters, she definitely should have been. Anyway, thanks for pointing that out, and you'll see more of that soon. Ooh! Just got an idea! Ahah. Also, this chapter was going to be a diary entry from Clara's POV, but as I wrote it, I decided against it. There'll be a few of those, however. This chapter is a bit longer than normal, but I don't think that matters. Review/Favorite/follow! OMG OMG OMG okay, last note! JENNA-LOUISE COLEMAN CHANGED HER NAME TO JUST JENNA COLEMAN. I shouldn't be so torn up about this but omg I am. Her name was so beautiful. She'll always be Jenna-Louise to me.. oh my stars, we can't call her JLoCo anymore.. omg I'm going to cry._

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Doctor Who or any of its characters, blah blah blah._

* * *

My eyes flutter open to see the sun streaming in through the window, illuminating the room to feel so very comfortable. What's even more comfortable, however, is the bed I'm lying in.

The sheets surround me like a sleeping bag and the bed itself is quite warm.

I sit up slowly and the sheets fall down to my waist, showing a very revealing nightgown.

Thankfully, nobody is around. Or so I think.

I get up from the bed and walk diagonally across the room to my mirror.

Looking inside the mirror, I see myself. My short, chubby self.

I run my hands over my hips, then turn sideways and suck in my stomach, wishing I was thinner. I give up on myself and turn back around to face the mirror.

I sigh as I look myself over once more, then finally close my eyes.

I open them when I feel a pair of soft hands grasp my waist.

The Doctor is standing behind me- without a shirt, I must add- looking into my eyes through the mirror.

His body is chiseled; His abdomen clearly defining six stomach muscles whilst his arms are buff- buffer than you'd think.

"You're beautiful" he says, as if reading my mind.

I smile and decide against saying anything, fearing I might ruin the moment.

We stand together, smiling, for a few minutes, taking in each other's appearances.

My face turns bright red when I look at myself once again, realizing the "pajamas" I have on are more revealing than I'd noticed before.

They're silk and loosely hanging over my body in two parts.

The bottom is more like shorts, but they cut off a quarter of the way down my thigh. The top is low-not to mention strapless-and cuts off just before my navel.

I debate whether or not I should go to the closet and get dressed, but quickly turn around and delicately kiss him instead.

We are so caught up in the moment, neither of us notice a knock at the door.

Artie walks into the room after not getting a reply from either of us for a few minutes.

The Doctor and I are kissing intensely, completely oblivious to the boy.

We'd moved backwards and the Doctor is now sitting on the edge of my bed, myself in his lap. He runs his hand up my thigh, as I run mine through his hair. He moves his hand from my thigh to my waist, then to my side.

That's when Artie coughs.

Both the Doctor and I break apart, blushing greatly. I jump up off his lap and over to Artie.

"Artie! What are you doing up here?" I nearly yell.

He doesn't answer, as he is fixed on something else.

I didn't change from what I'm wearing, as I'd decided to go for a more.. physical.. option..

Artie is staring at my body, as most 12 year old boys would. I can feel myself becoming insecure once more.

"Artie.." I say, then kneel down to be at eye level with him, leaning over. "Please don't look at me like that.."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, I just.." He says, still in a bit of a trance.

I giggle at his little crush, then notice that I've leant over more than I probably should have.

"How much did you see..?" I ask gently, moving back upright.

"Well.. I knocked on the door and you didn't answer so I came in.. You two were moving over to sit on the bed. And now here we are."

"Oh, no." I say, standing back up and running my hand through my hair.

"I'm sorry, Clara, I really am."

I turn back to him and kneel down once more, making sure I'm still upright.

"No need to be sorry, sweetie. It's our own fault. But I think we need to have a bit of a talk with your dad, hm?"

"Okay." He says reluctantly.

I stand back up and take his hand, then gesture for the Doctor to come along as well.

When we get downstairs, George is sitting on his usual spot at the table, sipping his coffee and reading the paper. Angie is sitting next to him, eating her cereal as normal.

"Oh-ho ho, something happened this morning, didn't it?" Angie says, grinning widely.

The Doctor awkwardly clears his throat and Mr. Maitland looks up from his paper.

"Good morning Clara, Doctor."

The Doctor met George a little while back, after we'd returned from our trip to Trenzalore. He doesn't know, however, that the Doctor is a time-traveling alien with a blue box; hence why he needs to hide it.

"Good morning." The Doctor replies.

"George, I think you and Artie need to have a little talk today." I say to him.

He notices the attire the Doctor and I are wearing and the confused look on Artie's face.

"Oh, uh. I- I can't today. I have a very important meeting to be at."

"It's a Saturday.." Angie says.

"Yes, well, this meeting decides whether or not I visit the States for a business trip."

"Mhm." I say disapprovingly, letting go of Artie's hand.

"Why don't _you _have a little chat with him, Doctor?"

The Doctor suddenly flails awkwardly, not sure of what to do with himself.

"Me? No.. No, I couldn't do that. I wouldn't know what to say if I did."

I groan and laugh a bit, then grab Artie's hand again.

"Alright, you. Looks like we've gotta have a talk."

The three of us walk back up the stairs and into my room, then settle on my bed.

"So.." I start.

"What exactly are we talking about?" Artie asks, clearly confused.

"Well, what did you see before?" The Doctor asks.

"When I came in, Clara was sitting on your lap. You two were kissing and you were holding her."

"Okay, and do you know why?"

"What do you mean?" Artie asks.

"Nevermind, that was a bad question. Um. Clara?"

"Well, how about this: ask us anything you want and we'll answer it truthfully, okay?" I say.

"Okay. Why were you sitting on his lap?"

"Because I like to sit on his lap. I like when he holds me." I reply honestly, smiling at the Doctor.

"But why his lap? Couldn't he have held you sitting next to him?"

"I guess. Think of it this way. When you sit on Santa's lap at Christmas, you feel safe, don't you?"

He nods his head.

"There's your answer."

"That makes sense."

"Anything else?"

"Well, sort of."

"Go ahead. You can ask anything, remember?" The Doctor reminds him.

_He seems really comfortable with this. The most comfortable I've ever seen him, actually._

"Why did you have your hand on Clara's side like that? And.. why were you two kissing on the bed?"

"Well.." the Doctor starts, suddenly looking more uncomfortable.

_That's my boy.._

I grin to myself, then wait for his response.

"Well, my hand was on her side because.. because.." he trails off, looking for the right words. "Because, I wanted to make sure she didn't fall.."

"Now, Doctor, that's not the honest truth," I say, trying to contain my laughter.

"Well, what's the truth?"

"I.. Well, I guess I can't get out of this one… I was holding Clara's side because I love her, and I wanted to feel the warmth of her skin against my hand."

"Oh." Artie says. "So then, why were you kissing so much on the bed and not just like normal couples do in the streets or the hallways?"

This time, it's the Doctor's turn to grin.

"Yeah, Clara. Why were we kissing so much on the bed and not just like normal people?"

"Um. Well. We were kissing on the bed because it's more stable than just standing up."

"Now, Clara. You only answered half of that question." The Doctor says, still grinning widely.

"Clara, I thought you were going to answer truthfully.." Artie says innocently.

"You're right, buddy, I'm sorry."

"So..?"

"So, we were kissing so much because.."

_He's old enough to know the truth. Just tell him._

"We were kissing so much because that's what you do when you love someone. When words aren't enough to show them how much you love them, you kiss them."

"But that wasn't normal kissing. Normal kisses are like, 2 seconds long. You were there for 5 minutes."

"Well, that just means that I love him more than normal people, doesn't it."

"Clara.. I don't mean to be weird but.. You're not really helping me understand.."

I sigh, knowing he's correct.

"Okay, but I was telling the truth."

"Alright. Why are you wearing that, Clara?" he asks, gesturing to my attire.

I feel the blood rush to my cheeks, realizing I still hadn't changed and that I was letting a twelve year old boy look at my body.

"They're like pajamas but for people my age. When you want to feel pretty for a little while, you wear them."

"Do you think she looks pretty, Doctor?"

"Of course I do, Artie. I always think she looks beautiful. No matter what she's wearing."

I smile at him and make a mental note to talk to him about that later.

"Why didn't you want me to see you then?"

"Well, because you're only 12, Artie."

"So?"

"Well, 12 year olds aren't supposed to see 24 year olds wearing clothes like this. Especially if they're as close as you and I are."

"But, why?"

"It's wrong. I'm a lot older than you, Artie."

"If I'm in love with you, I'm allowed to see you like that, right? So what does it matter what age I am? The Doctor is over 1000 and he's allowed to see you like that. He's much older than you than you are of me. Is what you're doing wrong?"

I look to the Doctor for help answering the question, but we're both stumped.

"You have a point, Artie." The Doctor says. "But since you're not in love with her-"

"Who says I'm not?" Artie says. He quickly blushes.

"Still, if she's not in love with you.. you don't have that permission."

"I guess you're right. I'm sorry I intruded."

"It's okay, hun. It was an accident. No worries." I smile at him.

Realization hits Artie and he asks another question.

"If you're wearing them then.. do you not think you're pretty, Clara?"

"Um, no." I say shyly.

"You're very pretty Clara. Please don't think you aren't."

I smile at him once more and hug him from the side.

"Thank you Artie. That's very sweet of you."

"I mean it, Clara. You're really pretty, and you need to know that. I know what that kind of insecurity does to people and I don't want that to happen to you."

I look down at my scarred wrist and sigh.

_A little bit too late, sweetie._

"Thank you Artie, and I promise, I won't ever do anything like that again."

He turns to me, udderly shocked.

"Again?"

_Crap._

"Yeah.. again." I say.

"What do you mean..?" he asks. He looks as if he's about to burst into tears.

"I didn't want you to know." I say, about to cry myself.

The Doctor stands up from the other side of Artie and walks to me, hugging me.

"Don't worry, Artie. I'll protect her." He says.

"Thank you." Artie replies.

"Alright, let's get some breakfast, yeah?" I say, standing up.

"Clara.. If it's all the same to you.. Maybe you should change first. I don't think my dad has that permission."

"Right, yeah." I say, heading into my closet.

I hear the Doctor and Artie exchange a laugh.

"How about I make us some pancakes?" I yell from within, then emerge to them.

"Sure." Artie says.


	13. Chapter 13

_Hey everybody! Thanks to everyone that's been reviewing! I'm so glad you all like the story! I got the sweetest review at 2am last night and it made my entire day awesome! Thank you! "I don't think my dad has that permission" I could stop laughing as I wrote that ahah. Glad you guys liked it. ERMAHGERD over 6,000 views! Thanks! Review/Favorite/Follow please!_

_DISCLAIMER: Still don't own anything._

* * *

"Okay, Angie and Artie are watching a movie upstairs in my room and Mr. Maitland won't be home until late. So we can just relax for a while." Clara says as she comes down the stairs.

"I know the perfect place." I say, hopping off the couch. I walk to her and place her delicate hand in mine.

"Where?" she asks, the excitement slowly building in her voice.

"Spoilers."

I lead her out of the house and into the TARDIS, then set the coordinates.

"Is it an alien planet?"

"I'm not going to tell you, Clara."

"Okay.. But it is another country in the future?" She asks giddily.

"Clara, I want to surprise you." I say calmly, trying not to let my excitement show.

_She's going to be so happy when she sees where we're going!_

"You're right, you're right. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. We're here!" I say as the TARDIS abruptly stops.

"I noticed" she laughs.

"Okay, c'mere." I say, and she does so.

I wrap my right hand over her eyes and use my other hand to snap the TARDIS doors open, then take her left hand in mine and guide her to the doorway from behind.

"Ready?" I ask lightly.

She nods her head and I release my hand from her eyes.

She opens her eyes slowly and exhales.

"It's so beautiful." She says.

"Only the best for my Clara."

She smiles and hugs me, then sits down on the step of the TARDIS. I do the same, not wanting to stand up any longer.

"Where are we?"

"We're flying- well, when I say flying I mean more like floating- through the Galaxia Amantium."

"What does it mean?"

"Galaxy of Lovers. It's Latin."

"That's beautiful." She says, gazing out into the galaxy.

"You're beautiful."

She giggles a bit, and gives me a small kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you."

"You see that star there?" I ask, pointing to a brightly shining star directly across from us.

"Mhmm."

"That's the Stella Decus, which roughly translates to the Star of Beauty. I have a replica of it in my galaxy room. In fact, that star shines the brightest. I always find myself looking at it."

"You said you go to that room when you miss me."

"I do. That star, Clara Oswald, reminds me of you."

"Why? Did we save that star from becoming a black hole that I don't remember?"

"No. It's the star of beauty."

She smiles greatly and blushes a bit.

"Oh, shut up, you" she says playfully.

I can tell that compliment made her feel really good, no matter how much she wants to hide it.

"It's a bit chilly. I'm going to go get us a blanket, okay?" I say.

"Hurry back." She says.

I get up to leave, but before I can, she sneaks a small kiss.

She giggles a bit and lets me go to get the blanket.

To be honest, I didn't want that kiss to ever end. But it had, and now I was on my way to retrieve a blanket from the wardrobe.

I found the softest, warmest blanket for the two of us to share and make my way back to Clara.

When I return, she is sitting upright, softly humming a song.

"Honey, I'm home." I joke, leaning against the frame of the door.

She smiles and giggles at me, then motions for me to sit down.

I return to my place of sitting right next to her and lean against the door frame once more. Clara leans up against me, her head resting on my chest and her hands wrapped around mine.

I bring the blanket up over us and we lie together, enjoying each other's company.

"What was song you were humming when I came back?" I ask her.

She moves her head to look at me and smiles.

"Okay by Backhouse Mike"

_I've never heard it before._

"Will you sing it for me?"

"I'm not sure.." she says hesitantly.

"Why not?"

"I don't know." She says, bringing her head back down to look out at the stars.

"Please?" I ask as adorably as I can make myself sound.

"Alright.."

I've never heard Clara sing before, but I know she'll sound beautiful.

_"There is no upper hand, I'm giving you mine_

_It doesn't have to end up wasting your time_

_There's things that I can say, but here in my way_

_I wanna let you know, that it's all okay."_

_(A/N: Am I the only one that really wants to hear Jenna sing? If you want to hear this song, go here without spaces: www. Youtube. com watch?v=EhAcfhVhe70 It's originally by Backhouse Mike but this is the version I was listening to when I wrote this.)_

She looks up to me, seemingly waiting for a response, but I can't make the words come out of my mouth.

"Your voice is so beautiful."

She shyly smiles and thanks me.

We lie together for a while more and eventually, Clara falls asleep.

I carefully slip out from under her and carry her into the machine, placing her on the bed in my room.

I fiddle with controls on the center console after returning from my room and fly the TARDIS through the vortex and into the Maitlands' backyard.

Clara is still fast asleep in my bed when I return to her. Not wanting to wake her, I pick her up gently and carry her through the TARDIS and into the Maitlands' house.

George was lounging on the couch when I walked in.

"Shh.." I whisper, motioning to the sleeping woman in my arms.

He nodded and gestured to the stairs, indicating to bring her upstairs.

I carry her up the stairs ever-so gently and open her bedroom door.

Angie and Artie are lying on her floor, watching Ghostbusters.

_My favorite movie!_

"Hi. Clara's asleep, please be quiet.." I whisper to them.

"Okay." Artie whispers back.

I place Clara in her bed and pull the covers over her, then kiss her on the forehead.

"Goodnight, my princess."

I begin to walk out the door when Artie stops me.

"Doctor. Don't stay out in the TARDIS tonight. You can stay in my room."

"That won't be necessary, Artie." I whisper back to him.

"Please? I know this is your favorite movie. You can watch with us."

"Ah. Okay. But only for tonight, okay?"

"Alright. Come on!"

I settle in between Artie and Angie and watch the movie with them, mainly just to be with Clara for a while longer.

"Goodnight, guys."


	14. Chapter 14

_Hey, my loves! So much for writing and uploading every day, no matter what. I have family over and I hate writing around my family. I also can't just hide in my room and write because they get curious. I'm so sorry! This chapter is a Clara Diary Entry. I decided to make it this chapter instead of 12. It's going to look like a shorter chapter but I promise you, it's the same length as the others. So much love! So much fluff! I hope you like it! Again, so sorry I couldn't upload. Family. Bleh. Anywho, enjoy. Please review and tell me what you think or want to see. I value your opinions. In fact, I thrive off them. Favorite and Follow if you like the story! Thank you!_

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Doctor Who or any of its characters._

* * *

_"Dear Diary,_

_ Yesterday was something special. The Doctor took me to a romantic star system. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. It trumped the rings of Akhaten by a long shot. Much better than what you see in movies or astronomy class. It was like nothing I'd ever seen before._

_ The first thing he showed me was a star. Of course, there were stars all around us, but this one was special. It was the Star of Beauty. And it really was. It was beautiful. The brightest shining star I've ever seen in my entire life. The Doctor said it reminded him of me but honestly, it reminded me of him. The entire time we were there, it never stopped shining. It wasn't trying to out-do the others, it just simply was the brightest of them all. Just like him. The entire time I've known him, he never stopped caring for a second. About me, about the TARDIS, the planet we were visiting that day. It didn't matter what it was, he always cared. "We never walk away."_

_ Last night was like any typical date, but amplified. We went out together, cuddled, and enjoyed each other's company. Like normal people do. Except, we were sitting under a blanket on the edge of the TARDIS, floating around a star system that nobody knows about. But still, I wouldn't take back a second of it. Not one. Everything about the night was magical. It made me feel like I finally had someone. Someone I could trust with everything, someone I could love and hold. Someone who would love me for who I am. The Doctor is exactly that someone._

_ That brings me to my next thought. Well, more like my only thought anymore. The Doctor. He's so amazing. He shows me all these amazing places; lets me live out mine and my mother's dream of seeing 101 Places. He understands how much I miss her, and how much I want to do this for her. Sometimes I wonder about his past. I mean, I've seen and saved each of his regenerations, but I don't know much about them. I hear him cry sometimes, when he doesn't know I can hear him, and I can't help but wonder what's causing him so much pain. He's lost a lot, I know that. But what? And why is it so saddening he can cry over it, but not come to me to talk? I'm gonna try to talk to him about that soon._

_ He loves me so much, and I love him so much. He's constantly putting up with me and my stupid habits. He compliments me every chance he gets. He makes me feel like I'm the only and most important girl in the world. And him. He's so beautiful. Inside and out. His mind is clever and cunning, yet considerate and kind. His hearts are so loving, despite all he's lost. He's clumbsy when dealing with simple tasks like walking or talking.. but he's so careful when he carries me upstairs or when he's holding my hand. He's gorgeous, not to mention, and great with kids. He'd make a great father._

_ This morning when I woke up, I wasn't alone. He was lying on the floor between Artie and Angie. I guess he brought me up to bed and was going to sleep outside, but the kids convinced him to stay. He was lying straight on the ground, but both kids were curled up next to him. I couldn't help but smile at that. It was too. I could just imagine it being our own kids. The 'Ghostbusters' menu screen was on the telly when I awoke. They must've lured him in with that. Angie's phone was on the ground next to her, which told me that she'd been texting the whole movie. But still, they were bonding last night._

_ Today, though, was even better. The Doctor woke up around the same time I did, and we decided it'd be fun to do something for the kids on this beautiful Sunday morning. I'd realized yesterday during the day that I hadn't been doing much for them. I mean, I'm their nanny. Somewhat of a mother figure for them. I wasn't supposed to abandon them with some madman in a box. So, the Doctor and I made them chocolate chip pancakes- another specialty of mine- and set them up a treasure hunt. Since Mr. Maitland was home, we led them around the house to begin, then outside, and eventually into the TARDIS._

_ When they woke up, they were pleasantly surprised. Angie wasn't at first, but Artie was totally into it from the start. Once Angie figured out that they'd be wandering through the TARDIS later on, she got into it. They followed the stupid little clues we put out to fool Mr. Maitland, then got to the really challenging, makes-you-think clues we put around the TARDIS. They were completely stumped when they got to one card. It said: "The rose hangs on the wall." It took them about fifteen minutes to get that one. It led them to an old companion's room. Rose Tyler. Eventually, they found the card underneath a post she'd had on the wall._

_ That room was especially hard for the Doctor to visit, but I'm not sure why. I mean, obviously she doesn't travel with him anymore, but something bad must've happened. He couldn't bring himself to go in, so I waited with him in the hallway while the kids searched for the card. The Time Lord didn't want to cry, but he did, causing us to hug the entire time the kids were in the room. I'm not complaining, it was really nice. I just felt horrible that he was crying and I didn't know how to help. _

_ Back to the kids. They finished the TARDIS Treasure Hunt, as we called it, in about two hours. They were pleasantly surprised to find that the treasure was a giant waterpark room. I don't know when The Doctor had that installed but it was really sweet of him to do. All in all, it was a good couple of days._

_ I'm so glad I found him. He's the best guy I've ever met. I love him so much. More than anyone I've ever loved. I couldn't imagine my life without him."_

I closed my diary and placed it back in my bag, right alongside my '101 Places to See' book.

"What was that you had there?" The Doctor asked.

"Just.. a diary."

"You don't strike me as the kind of girl who keeps a diary." He says snarkily.

"Oi, watch it, Chin. My mum gave it to me when I was little. I've been writing in it ever since. Every boy I've ever had a crush on, every best friend I've ever had, even the travels we've taken."

"So, I guess I'm in it?"

"Never said that, did I?" I reply, returning the snark he'd given me before.

"You said every boy you've ever had a crush on." He smiled, knowing he'd won.

"Who says I have a crush on you?"

"You- but- me- I- ah.. Shut up." He gives up.

I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his neck, connecting my hands at the back.

"I said every boy I've ever had a crush on. The man I love is too good for words." I whisper to him.

He smiles down at me, considering the ridiculous height gap, then leans down to kiss me.

"I love you too."

"Oh, not you. You're in there."

His face drops.

"It was a joke. Relax a bit, yeah?" I say softly.

He lightly smiles at me, then asks a question to clear up his confusion.

"So.. am I in there?"

"Of course you're in here. Why wouldn't I write about you."

"You said the man you love isn't in there."

"I said the man I love is too good for words. That doesn't mean I didn't try to find words that were perfect for him."

He smiles bigger now, and wraps his arms around my waist, kissing me once more.

"I love you." I say, breaking away from him.

"I love you too."


	15. Chapter 15

_Hey everybody! Whoo, 15 chapters! I've been getting really nice reviews on this story both on FF and twitter! So thank you! I'm really glad you guys like it! I've planned for about 10 more chapters, but I'm thinking of more ideas to keep the story going. At around chapter 20, I'll ask for your opinions on what direction the story should go in a poll. I'll link you to it. And for those of you calling me "Moffat and Regina George", *cough* guest *cough*, it makes for a good storyline. Things will look up, but they just might get worse too. Be patient. Anywho, enjoy! :D Review with things you liked/disliked or want to see! Favorite/follow if you like the story! :] PS. Sorry I haven't updated in 2 days. I've been dealing with some personal stuff and I couldn't bring myself to write such happy stuff when I was feeling so bad. Anyway, here's the chapter._

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own DW or its characters._

* * *

_Today's the day! Today's the day!_

It's finally Wednesday again. I haven't seen Clara since Saturday and boy do I miss her.

Today, though, before I get Clara, I'm going to do something completely special.

I move away from the center console and walk down the steps to the hallway.

_Time to find Clara a room!_

Today's the day I ask Clara to move in with me.

Before I can do that, though, I've gotta find her a room!

She has one, but it's tiny. She only uses it if she needs to get changed during an adventure.

I'm going to formally invite her to stay with me.

She might say 'No' because she needs to be a proper nanny to Angie and Artie… but I really want to be with her all the time.

_No harm in asking._

I continue to walk and eventually reach the corridor with all the bedrooms.

The TARDIS saves all the previous companions' bedrooms. I'm not sure why, but she does.

As I walk, I pass different rooms.

_There's Rose's. Martha's... Donna… The Ponds.._

Finally, I reach a spare room and reach to turn the doorknob.

As I place my hand on the knob, a small electric shock races through my palm.

_What the hell was that for?_

Gripping the doorknob once more, I turn it quickly, in case it was planning to shock me again.

I push the door open, not wanting to touch the knob again, and step inside.

The room is a basic shade of white with a queen sized bed and a dresser.

"This is good." I whisper, smiling.

As soon as the words escape my lips, the room becomes a complete disaster.

The white walls are now smashed and torn apart, the carpet now stained and disgusting, and the bed becomes downsized to a single bed.

My face twists in confusion, but I shrug it off and walk out of the room, deciding Clara wouldn't like it anyway. Too boring.

I continue on down the hall and find the next available room.

I carefully touch the doorknob, and twist it, opening the door.

There was no shock this time, thank heavens.

As I step in the room, I take note of the interior decoration.

It's nice. Simple, but not as basic as the last room.

The walls were a light shade of pink, giving it a warm, inviting feeling, unlike the last room which made you feel like you were in a prison cell.

The bed again was queen-sized, and the comforter was a creamy white, with black swirls delicately cascading over it.

Instead of carpet in this room, there was wood floor, making it seem a bit more.. posh..

"Now THIS is.."

I stop myself before I can finish the sentence, knowing if I said 'Perfect,' the TARDIS would wreck it.

I'm not exactly sure why she's doing this, but I know it has to do with Clara.

She doesn't like her, for some odd reason. Maybe it's the whole impossible thing.. but I don't know.

"terrible. I hate it. Clara would never live here." I say, trying to fool the TARDIS.

She sees right through my trick and smashes the room anyway.

"Why are you doing this?! I just want Clara to stay here with me!"

She hums angrily in response.

"I know she's impossible! But we solved that mystery already! Please."

Her hum this time is still angry, but short. As if to say 'No.'

"Please. You can stop her from living here and you can stop her from feeling comfortable but you _cannot _stop me from loving her."

_Oh my God. That's it. I love Clara. The TARDIS thinks I don't love her because Clara is here! Oh! I should've seen this!_

"Did you think that I wouldn't love you anymore because Clara is here now? You know that I could never do that. I love Clara so much, I would do anything for her. I would settle down and start a family if that's what she wanted. But we would still live HERE. With you. Because I love you just as much as I love her. Don't you forget that." I say as I rub the panels that make up the wall.

She hums softly in response and fixes the room to the way it was.

"This is perfect for her, and you know that I really want her here. So please, be nice to her. I promise, she wants you to like her."

The TARDIS hums softly again, and tells me to go pick up Clara.

"Right! Yes! Time to go get her!" I smile and run out of the room.

"Thank you, my love!" I yell as I run down the corridor.

The TARDIS hums once more as if she were laughing.

I finally reach the console room and set the coordinates for the Maitlands' backyard.

The machine flies through the vortex and eventually arrives at its destination.

I burst out through the door and knock on the sliding glass door the Maitlands have at the back of their house.

I expect Artie to answer the door as he usually does, but this time, it's Clara.

"Hello, Clara." I say, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. "How are you?"

"Hi, love. I'm good."

"That's good. Say, where's Artie? He usually answers the door."

"He's sick today. Didn't go to school. He's up in his bed if you want to say hello."

"Poor kid. Sure, I'll go say hey to him, but then I've got to ask you something!"

She smiles and laughs a bit, then shows me the way to his room.

"Artie?" she says softly, pushing open his door. "I brought you some warm soup. Can I come in?"

"Sure, Clara." He says weakly.

"Hello, Artie." I say as we both enter the room. Clara puts the bowl of soup on his bedside table, then returns to my side.

"Hi, Doctor! Thank you, Clara." Artie says.

She nods her head in reply.

"I'm sorry you're not feeling well. I hate being sick, if I ever am." I say.

He laughs a bit at my serious comment, and takes a sip of his soup.

"We'll leave you to rest. I'll be back to check on you in a bit, yeah?" Clara asks.

He nods his head and the two of us move out of his room and back into the kitchen.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think I can go out today. I don't want to leave Artie here alone. Especially when he's sick."

"I understand. But, I'd still like to ask you something. In the TARDIS, if you don't mind…"

She nods and grabs my hand, and we walk to the machine together.

I lead her down the stairs and to the bedroom corridor.

We pass by mine, and I show her in all of the other companions' rooms, then stop her before the one that the TARDIS labeled 'Clara' when I was away.

"What's this?" She asks as I place my hands over her eyes.

"Just relax, okay?" I say, and she does.

We walk to the door and as we approach, I open it, and take my hands off her eyes.

"Wow. It's great." She says happily. "Whose room was this?"

"Yours." I smile at her.

"What do you mean?"

"I want you to move in with me." I say.

"What about Angie and Artie?"

"I thought maybe we could kind of do a flip-flop. You could travel with me every day and we'll stop off at the Maitlands' every Wednesday. I've even found them a new nanny."

She comes up to me and hugs me, her head leaning against my chest.

I wait for her response, but she stays silent.

"So..?"


	16. Chapter 16

_Hi everybody! Don't you just love cliffhangers? ;] I purposely didn't write just to see how long I could make you lot wait! But then I remembered that I have a heart, and I felt bad ahah. Here's the next chapter! PS. I'm flying back to New York to visit friends and family in 2 weeks and I can't wait any longer! Please, if you have any ideas of things I can do to pass the time, leave it as a review or pm me! Please, I beg you! Follow/Favorite if you haven't already and pretty please, leave a review! I love reading them :] Also, I just posted a poll. Please, please, pleeeeeeeeease answer it. If you truly love this story and me, you'll take it. Please, loves. Please._

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Doctor Who or any of its characters._

* * *

"So..?" He asks.

_Yes or no, Clara. It's as simple as that!_

The Doctor had asked me to move in with him, and is currently waiting on my response.

I want to say 'Yes' so badly, but there'll be consequences if I do.

Angie and Artie won't have a nanny.. But the Doctor said he'd found them one. I assume she's good. I trust him. So that's not a problem..

Sure, they'll have a woman around the house, and someone to care for them while their father can't.. but they'll miss me.. At least, I hope.

I'm all they've ever known, really. Their mum passed away 4 years ago, and I've been with them since. It wouldn't be right just to leave them like that.

But they both know that the Doctor and I have really strong feelings for each other, and hell, I'm almost twenty-five! I need to venture out, and doing that once a week with the Doctor isn't good enough for me.

_So… What's my answer?_

I look up at the Doctor and see that the smile usually fixed on his face has morphed into a slight frown.

His eyes look sad, and his hands are lightly shaking at his side.

He clears his throat and continues to wait- very patiently, I might add- for my answer.

_The answer is.. my answer is… The situation in question has an answer that is…_

I smile as wide as I can and open my mouth. The words escape normally, but excitedly.

"Of course."

His face immediately lights up, and he pulls me into the warmest hug I've ever had.

"Oh, amazing. I'm so happy you're going to stay, Clara! I can't handle not being with you all the time."

"I know what you mean. That's why I said yes." I smile at him.

We break apart, then take a moment to enjoy each other's smiling face.

"Right then!" The Doctor finally says. "Let's get you moved in!"

I laugh at him, then begin to speak, "We have to let George, Angie and Artie know first."

"Oh, right." He blushes, suddenly realizing how difficult it would be.

We walk out of the TARDIS hand-in hand and remember that Angie and Mr. Maitland aren't home yet.

We quickly grab Artie from his room so he wouldn't be alone sick all day, then race back to the TARDIS and travel a few hours into the future.

When we arrive, George is just entering the house.

"Oh, hello, Clara. Doctor. Oh, and Artie! How are you feeling?"

"Better, thanks." He replies to his father. He quickly goes to sit down on the couch, clearly not feeling that much better.

"Hello, George. There's something we want to tell you all.." I say, grinning widely.

"You got her pregnant, didn't you?" Angie says snarkily.

I look over at the Doctor to see his face is flushed. I can feel the tension in the room and the Doctor's hand begins to shake in mine.

"Uhm. No." The Doctor says sheepishly.

"Oh. Guess I skipped to conclusions." Angie replies.

She walks over to me and whispers slyly in my ear, "But you know you'd like that."

I immediately blush.

"No, that-that's not what we wanted to tell you." I say.

George and Angie sit on the couch beside Artie and the Doctor and I sit on a love-seat facing them.

"I've asked Clara to move in with me." The Doctor says.

"And.. I've said yes." I say after a long pause.

Each Maitland's face switches from content from the light-hearted banter that previously occurred, to sad from the words the two of us have just spoken.

"So, you're moving in together?" George asks.

I nod my head and George fixes his emotions back to content.

"Well, that's good for you, Clara. Glad to see you're venturing out."

"Thank you, George. I'm so sorry I decided to leave without advising you all, though. I will miss you so much. We found you a new nanny already and instead of leaving every Wednesday and being here every other day, we've decided to flip flop."

By this point, Artie is crying and Angie is on the verge of tears.

"Really, I'm so sorry." I say as I go to hug each of the children.

I keep them in my arms and let them cry.

"It's okay, Clara. Go be with him. We know you love him." Artie says.

"I love you both too, you know that. I will still come to visit, I promise."

"You better" Angie says jokingly, releasing from my hug.

We laugh together for a moment, then separate completely.

"Thank you guys for understanding." I say.

They each nod, and I proceed up the stairs. I pack up most of my things and the Doctor helps me to bring them out to the big blue machine.

We place them in my new room, which -thankfully- is right down the hall from the Doctor's, and then head back to the console room.

"So, what are we going to do now?" The Doctor asks.

"Well, let's go somewhere or some… time!" I say, giggling a bit.

"How about.. In honor of you moving in and staying here with me – And I don't do this often, so you should feel special, pretty lady, why don't you pick the next place or time?"

"Really?" I ask, astonished.

The Doctor nodded and gestured to the controls.

"I've let you fly before but you've not gotten to pick, nor has anyone else. Why don't you?" he smiles.

I make up my mind that I do not want to travel in time, but to another world.

I thank him and move over to the controls, browsing through the wide variety of planets there are to visit.

My eyes gaze upon beautiful beaches, rainy forests, and vast deserts, but I quickly find the one I love.

"Let's go here." I say, smiling.

"Ah yes! Appalapachia! I haven't been there for ages. Not since.." the Doctor trails off.

"Not since who?" I ask.

"Nevermind that. I hope it isn't infected with Chen-7 still…"

"What?"

"Nothing! Geronimo!"

I pull all the necessary levers and push the right buttons until finally, we land on the planet.

"Whoo. Here we are." The Doctor says, pushing the doors open.

I smile at the scenery before me and take in a deep breath.

"Well, thankfully we aren't in the '2 Streams Facility' so, we must have traveled to before the planet was infected" he says.

He says '2 Streams Facility' as if mocking something. What a daft old man.

I smile to myself then place my hand into the Doctor's outstretched one.

"Shall we?"


	17. Chapter 17

_Hey loves! One quick note before we start! There's a poll on my profile. Please, please, please take it! It would mean a lot! Thank you! Anyway, please follow/favorite if you like the story and please leave me a review!_

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Doctor Who or any of its characters._

* * *

Hand-in hand Clara and I walk out of the TARDIS doors.

"So, this is Appalapachia! I give you sunsets, spires and soaring colonnades!" I say.

Suddenly, I stop, remembering the last time I said those words and who I said them to.

"Doctor, are you okay?" Clara asks, turning to face me. The happiness that lit up her face is now replaced by a worried look.

"Yes. Of course. Just some... déjà vu."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! Alright! How about we go and swim in one of the waterfalls?" I say happily.

Within seconds, my ears are filled with a terrified scream. A scream that breaks my heart each time I hear it.

"Clara?!" I yell, looking around for her.

I turn my head to the left to see her being dragged away by two bulky men, each in a suit and tie.

I run after them, but before I can, I am grabbed from behind by a woman.

"Hello, Doctor."

I'd recognize that sinister voice anywhere.

"Madam Kovarian."

"Nice to see you again." She said hastily, then stuck a cloth over my mouth.

The next thing I know, I'm struggling and falling to the ground.

* * *

I jolt up with a gasp and immediately survey the room.

The walls are a plain grey, and there is one window near the ceiling of the room, with, fortunately, is a bit low.

My heart stops dead when I see the girl curled up in a ball in the corner of room.

Her hair a familiar shade of brunette and shoulder-length.

"Clara is that you?" I ask softly.

The girl turns around, her hair revealing to be a dirty blonde and extending down to her stomach.

"Who?" she croaked. She clears her throat and speaks again, "I'm Sydney."

"Hello, Sydney, I'm the Doctor."

"Doctor Who?"

"Ehh, let's not worry about that now. Have you seen a girl, brunette, tiny, very feisty?"

"She was in here about an hour ago.. They were afraid you'd wake up and escape with her so they moved with her."

"Damn it." I mutter to myself.

"sorry?" she asks.

"We're going to get out of here, Sydney, but first we're going to find Clara."

I hop up from my spot on the floor and help Sydney up.

We walk to the door together and I pull out my sonic screwdriver.

I aim it at the door and it immediately opens.

Stepping out of the room, I survey the hallway, looking for guards. Nobody was in sight.

_Great security._

We run down the corridor, 'sonic'ing each door.

Finally, we open a door with a girl sitting on the cold, hard floor. My girl.

"Clara?"

The girl turns around. This time, she has a familiar face.

"Doctor" she breathes out.

She gets up and runs to hug me, meeting me half way. We stand in our embrace for minutes, until an uncomfortable throat-clearance comes from behind us.

"Right. Clara, this is Sydney. I found her in here as well."

Clara gives her a warm smile, and the girl weakly returns it. They exchange 'hellos' before gripping my hands.

We run down the corridors together, only to be stopped by a very thin man.

He glares at me menacingly, and I merely pick him up and set him aside.

It's quite pathetic, really.

We continue on together and eventually make our way back to the planet's surface.

I can see the familiar blue box in the distance and immediately make a dash for it.

"Don't worry, Doctor. We'll be back for you!" Madam Kovarian yells from behind us.

I simply laugh at how easy our escape was and continue running, a girl in each hand.

Eventually we reach the TARDIS, and I open the doors to let the girls in.

"So, Sydney! Lovely name, Sydney! Where are you from?"

"It's.."

"Bigger on the inside, yeah. Where are you from?" Clara says hastily, clearly jealous.

"Are you stupid? Earth. Are we not on Earth?"

Clara's eyes widen, very offended.

"We're on a planet with a light pink sky and yellow grass, clear signs that we're not on Earth, and you're calling _me _stupid?"

"Well, I-"

"Whatever. Where on Earth?" Clara asks.

"New York."

_That explains her attitude._

"You don't _sound _like a New Yorker." Clara snaps at her.

"How would you know? You're a Brit."

"I've been to New York. You haven't the slightest New York accent."

"Oh? Where in New York?"

"Manhattan."

Sydney lets out a snicker and glares at her.

"There _are _other places in New York I could live. I'm from a town called Montgomery, which is why I don't have any accent. Think before you speak next time." Sydney bites.

Clara is taken back. She gets really close to Sydney's face and whispers words I can't hear.

"Careful what you say, dear. Bet your man wouldn't kiss you with that mouth."

"Wanna bet?"

With that, Sydney slaps her.

"I'll take you home." I say harshly to her.

I move away from the girls and to the center console, flipping switches as usual and finally landing in the small town of Montgomery, New York.

"Goodbye, Sydney." I say, pushing her out of the door.

"Oh, you'll see me again."

"You better hope not." I say, slamming the door shut and locking it.

Clara smiles warmly at me, clutching her cheek a bit.

I walk back to her and kiss her cheek, ensuring it feels a bit better before I go back to the console.

"What do you say we go somewhere a bit.. calmer?"

She sighs of relief and nods at me.

"Please."

* * *

_Hello again! I don't usually do this, but I wanted to add this note haha. The girl, Sydney, is from the town I used to live in lol. I wanted her from New York, but not the city, so I picked my hometown! I hate when people assume I'm from the city just because I'm from New York, and I wanted to explain the whole accent debate from a first-hand perspective lol. I hope you guys liked the chapter!_


	18. Chapter 18

_Hey guys. I was supposed to write over the weekend but I had a long day with flying on Saturday and with Cory Monteith's tragic passing, I couldn't bring myself to do it.. RIP Cory, you'll be missed.. Heaven gained an angel._

_On a lighter note, I'm visiting my best friend on Friday/Saturday/Sunday! :D Haha well, here's this chapter! Hope you enjoy! :D Please, Review and follow/favorite if you already haven't :]_

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Doctor Who or any of its characters._

_PS. Sorry about the Emmerdale confusion. I had found that I put "Wrist" where I meant to write "Ankle" and decided to fix it. In doing that, my cousin Nate was bugging me to play with him, so I had to replace the chapter fast. That was chapter two of my Emmerdale fanfic "The Lives We Lead." The Document for that chapter is right below the document for THIS lol so I accidentally pressed the wrong one and gave you guys that Emmerdale chapter lol. Here's the right one! If you liked that, however, please go read my Emmerdale story. Thanks, and sorry for the confusion!_

* * *

The TARDIS lands with a huge jerk and sends us away from the console.

The Doctor, like the child he is, swings on the bars of the TARDIS.

"So much for calm." I grumble, picking myself up off the floor.

The Doctor jumps up and immediately brushes off his clothes, snaps his suspenders, fixes his bowtie, and adjusts his jacket.

"Right, yes! How's your cheek?"

"It's fine, thanks."

He takes my hand and leads me to the door, stopping right in front of it.

He turns to me and looks me in the eyes, even though I'm substantially shorter than him.

"Are you ready for this?"

I nod my head and smile warmly at him.

"This.." he starts. The doors glide open. "Is New York, 1920's."

My mouth slowly fell open and my opened in surprise.

_He remembered.._

A while ago, on the way home we had a conversation about places and I told him it was my favorite time/place combination.

"Of course, I remembered!" he shoots me that same boyish smile that I love. "Shall we?"

"We shall!" I say, looping my arm through his.

It's nighttime when we arrive, and it's Christmas Eve.

I smile up at him and we continue to walk.

In the distance, someone shrieks. The Doctor and I look at each other, silently debating whether or not to help.

It was, after all, supposed to be a calm trip. But are travels with the Doctor ever calm?

We take off together in the direction of the scream.

"YOU GOT ME AN AUTOMOBILE?!" a girl yells.

We walk up to see a girl, can't be older than 17, rubbing her hand along a red 1926 Chrystler Imperial E80.

Her parents are laughing to each other, happy at how excited their daughter is.

The Doctor sighs and looks at me.

"We wasted a good run on a car." He say sadly.

I laugh it off and comfort him, then proceed to walk in the other direction with the Doctor.

We walk passed Broadway. Nobody's there, considering the day, but the streetlights are on.

That's my favorite thing in the world. Watching the snow fall at night in front of a streetlight.

It makes the snow look like it's sparkling.

The Doctor's hand is shaking in mine.

"Are you cold, Doctor?"

"No, why? Are you? I'll give you my jacket." He says as he begins to pull off his jacket.

Before I can object, he wraps it around me, his body heat still engulfing the item.

_I've always wanted this to happen.._

I smile at the thought.

_My stars, he's making this night perfect._

I quickly snap out of my romantic daydream and remember why I asked him that to begin with.

"Are you sure? I could feel you shaking."

"I've just got a lot on my mind, that's all."

He takes my hand again, having released it to pull off his jacket, and nervously smiles.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask him politely.

"No, it's fine. I'll be fine. What do you say we go to the ice skating rink?"

"Won't it be crowded?" I ask.

He checks his watch, which changes according to where he is- courtesy of the TARDIS- and looks back up to me.

"Nope. It's about 3am. Nobody will be there." He smiles at me.

_We've been walking around for a while.._

"Sounds perfect." I say, smiling back.

_We smile at each other a lot.. I love his smile.._

I smile- yet again- at the thought.

"Clara, what are you smiling at?" the Doctor asks, clearly confused.

"Just thinking about something." I say, trying to avoid spilling my thoughts. "Well, let's go then!"

I take his hand and run ahead, pulling him along. We laugh together as we run, and eventually find ourselves putting on skates.

The Doctor helps me put on my skates and ties them tight, then helps me to stand up. We walk together to the ice and slowly step on.

We hold hands and glide together for a bit and I notice that the snow has stopped.

His hands are still shaking.

"Doctor, what's wrong? Tell me.." I plead.

"Nothing's wrong, Clara, I've told you. I've just got a lot on my mind."

"Something's making you jittery. What's on your mind?"

"Well, you." He says.

"I know that, but what's making you so nervous?"

"I'm not nervous."

"Doctor.."

"Clara.."

I smile at his playfulness then turn back to a serious face.

"I love you, Doctor. I care about you. What's bothering you?"

He turned to face me, serious as well.

"I promise you, nothing is bothering me." He adds a smile onto the end.

"Alright." I say.

Suddenly, we're holding both hands and spinning in circles.

"You're pretty good!" I exclaim.

"You think that's good, wait till you see this!"

He lets go of one hand and spins me around, then takes both of my hands once more and pulls me through his legs.

We're doing a real ice skating routine!

Next thing I know, I'm being lifted off the ground. He holds me up by putting one hand around my ankle and the other on my stomach.

He spins around with me in the air, then gently puts me down.

We skate around together, doing jumps and such, and finally, he spins me out, then pulls me back in.

We're close. Really close.

So close, the gap between us is virtually non-existent.

He places his lips onto mine, and I feel the fireworks yet again.

That feeling of happiness, peace and-most of all-love gather in my stomach. A feeling that will never get old.

Our lips fit together perfectly, as if made for each other.

I don't believe in soul mates, but I just know.. the Doctor is mine.

We pull away from each other and stay together, not wanting the moment to end.

Eventually, we continue to skate calmly, just talking.

I suddenly feel a burst of warmth, and remember that the Doctor's jacket is still wrapped around me.

The snow begins to lightly fall again, and the Doctor and I find ourselves in the dead center of the rink.

The bell chimes 12 times, signaling the start of a brand new day.

"Merry Christmas, Clara."

"Merry Christmas, Doctor."

With that, we pull into a hug, and fit our lips together perfectly once more.


	19. Chapter 19

_Hello, and welcome to chapter nineteen! Today's featured point of view is that of the Doctor! Haha, sorry about that, I don't know what I was even thinking. Lol so yeah! As of now, I have this chapter and 6 others planned. I've got some ideas for the future but I might turn that into another fic, considering this story isn't what the summary says anymore lol. I'm always doing that. One quick note, once I finish my other story "I Think I Love You," I'll be starting a new story. A Clara/Debbie (from Emmerdale) story. Right then! Please follow and favorite if you like the story and please leave me a review of things you want to see, liked, etc. Bit of a short chapter but, it'll be worth it, I promise._

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Doctor Who or any of its characters._

* * *

Clara and I decide skating around for hours more is completely pointless and begin to head off the rink.

We'd already been there for God knows how long. I can't understand what's so fun about going in circles for hours on end.

But being with Clara anywhere makes it all worthwhile.

My hands are still shaking at my sides, I can feel it.

_I hope Clara doesn't notice again. She's asked so many times, I don't know how much longer I can lie to her._

I hate it. I hate lying to Clara. But I most definitely don't want her to find out what's going on.

I've gotta stop my hands shaking. It's not doing me any good.

But gosh, I'm so completely nervous.

No, no, no, not nervous, simply jittery.

No, most definitely nervous.

Time Lords don't get nervous! Geez, why, _why _is Clara making me so nervous?

I mean, the least she can say is no, right? And all the other things I've asked her, she's said yes to.

Why should this be any different?

"Doctor?"

"Hmm? Yes?"

"I said, 'it looks like the sun's coming up.'" Clara says.

"It does. Well then, we're going to need to take off these clothes."

"What?"

Oh, God, what did I just _say?!_

_Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

"Well! We can't be seen walking around the 1920's in these clothes! Yes, that's what I meant, of course that's what I meant."

Clara gives me a smirk and begins walking to the TARDIS, turning once to say "Uhuh, sure."

I feel the blood rush to my cheeks, then remember what I need to do.

I race to the TARDIS and go directly to the wardrobe, where Clara is already half undressed.

I stop dead in my tracks, and have to restrain my eyes from wandering, keeping them locked on the back of her head.

But my restraints don't work, and I find myself staring.

Then Clara turns around.

"Doctor!" she gasps.

"Sorry! Sorry! Oh, Gosh, sorry!" I say, completely flustered.

I turn around to look away from her and stumble over my feet.

She quickly rushes to my side and leans over me.

"It's okay, you just scared me is all." She smiles.

I smile, still very flustered, and try not to show my nerves. It takes everything in my power not to shake.

And to not look.

She, still, is only wearing her bra and shorts.

"Doctor.." she says.

_Wow, she's beautiful._

"You can look, you know."

"Um. I-I don't think that's appropriate."

"Why? Don't be such a prude!" she says jokingly.

"Hey! I just.. respect your privacy, that's all."

"Whatever." She laughs, then gets up and decides to change.

She pulls on a very Marilyn Monroe-esque dress, even though it's from the wrong time-period.

She looks so beautiful, I don't have the heart to tell her it's wrong.

She'll inspire the style before Marilyn Monroe does, and that's perfectly fine.

I mean, I think it's fine. It might be, quite honestly, I don't know.

"What?" she asks.

_Did I say that out loud?_

"Nothing, Nevermind, let's go!"

"Doctor?"

"What? Did I miss something? I feel like I'm missing something. Something's definitely missing." I say, wandering around the room, fussing with different things.

"Are you going to change?"

"Ah hah-ha! That's it! Changing! You did it, so must I!" I say, then rush to her and kiss her on the forehead.

"You," I say, cupping her face with my hands, "Are absolutely brilliant."

I dash off around the room, and go into one of the spare changing rooms.

Within a moment, I emerge wearing a black suit and top hat.

"You look very dapper." Clara says.

"Why thank you. Allons-y!"

"What?"

"What?" I ask.

"What does Allons-y mean?"

"It's French for 'Let's Go.' Nevermind that, it's a past regeneration emerging."

I take her hand and swiftly lead her out of the room and into the field we parked the TARDIS in.

The sun is just rising, and the scenery, I must say is quite gorgeous.

"Up for a picnic?" I ask.

"Sure!" Clara says enthusiastically.

I race back into the TARDIS and grab a blanket and some cushions, along with pre-packed food, courtesy of the TARDIS.

_Oh God.._

I feel myself start to shake once more as I reach the step of the TARDIS.

Clara has her back turned to me, and is slowly dancing, humming softly as she twirls.

_I can't believe I'm going to do this._

She continues to twirl and hum a tune I'm starting to recognize as "Love Me Tender."

Her favorite song, in her favorite time period, with her favorite guy.

At least I hope so.

It couldn't be more of a perfect setting for what I'm going to do.

I'm so glad I'm going to do it.

If I do it.

I have to.

No, I don't have to. But I'd very much like to.

I'll do it.


	20. Chapter 20

_Welcome back! Ooh, left off on quite a questionable note! But you have to admit, it was great. Haha you all must hate me. I really hope not! This chapter might be a bit of a let-down, seeing as you guys have some thoughts about what the Doctor's going to do, but I'll make it fluffy and beautiful and yeah! Haha. Well, I hope you enjoy! Please, follow and favorite if you already haven't and please leave me a review! They make my day! :]_

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Doctor Who, any of its characters, or the song Love Me Tender. Everything goes to their rightful owners._

* * *

I feel a touch on my shoulder, and I promptly turn around.

The Doctor is standing there, holding a picnic basket covered with a blanket, and a pair of cushions.

I take the blanket and cushions from him and set them down on the grass, flattening it down for more comfort.

The sun begins to rise higher in the sky, turning the familiar black into shades of purple and blue.

The Doctor sits beside me, and we connect our hands over the blanket.

This.. is pure happiness.

My favorite place, my favorite guy.. Everything is so perfect.

It couldn't be any more perfect.

"I heard you singing before and I wanted to show you something." The Doctor says.

_Maybe it can be…_

"Well, what is it?" I ask, quite giddily.

He clears his throat and turns to me.

With the biggest grin on his face, he opens his mouth and, to my surprise, begins to sing.

_"Love me tender, love me sweet, never let me go._

_You have made my life complete, and I love you so._

_Love me tender, love me true, all my dreams fulfilled._

_For, my darling, I love you. And I always will."_

His voice is low and so, so sweet sounding.

The kind of voice that would make every girl in the world swoon.

I find myself at a complete loss for words, and can only stutter.

"I take it you liked it?" he asks, chuckling a bit.

"Completely." I say, leaning over to kiss him.

When we break apart, we both notice the sun, gaining more and more height in the sky.

The shades of purple, black and blue have changed to light oranges, delicate pinks and lustrous yellows.

"The sky looks so beautiful."

The Doctor turns to me and rubs my hand.

"You're beautiful."

I feel myself smile and turn away, an instinct I've come to notice I use a lot.

We begin to eat the food, not taking long at all.

The Doctor pulls a fruit smoothie from the basket, while I opt for the actual fruit- bananas, apples, etc.

I laugh at the Doctor's inability to figure out the use of his straw.

He gives up trying and screws the cap off of the cup.

Exactly like the Doctor would, he drinks it, and spills it all down his shirt.

"Oh, bloody brilliant!" he says angrily.

I laugh at his awkwardness as he stands up and re-enters the TARDIS.

As he's inside, I allow my mind to wander.

_I wonder why he was shaking so much today._

He seemed very jumpy. Like something was bothering him.

Lots of things bother him, I know that.

Past companions, guilt of accidental deaths, etc.

But never once, in all my lives, have I seen him shake.

He re-emerges wearing an almost identical shirt, though with two new, red suspenders.

"How do I look?" He asks, snapping his suspenders.

"Absolutely handsome!" I reply.

"Brilliant! Then I'll look good for.." he trails off.

"For what?" I ask, becoming really curious.

"Well, there's something else I wanted to show you." He says, suddenly sounding more shaky.

_What's he going to do?_

I feel myself becoming shaky as well, the nerves and anticipation growing fiercely as he drops to the ground.

He balances himself on one knee and opens his mouth to speak.

_Oh my stars. He's not actually going to.._

"Clara Oswald." He says.

I nod my head, unable to say anything else, as I'm too stunned.

"From the minute I first met you, I knew you were something special. I met you again, and knew I had to travel with you. And then, I met you for a third time, and I fell in love."

I smile at his sweet words, still unable to speak.

"When you were trapped in the TARDIS, I couldn't breathe. I couldn't bear the thought of losing you again. When the cyber-planner took over my mind and you asked him to prove it was me.. He was speaking everything I was thinking at the moment. You were the only thing on my mind. If he got full control of my brain, who knows what he'd have done to you. I had to let you know, just in case. Do you remember that day we went to rescue Hila Tacorien?"

I think back to that day and remember all the events. Emma told me not to trust the Doctor.

_But what's not to trust about him? He treats me with respect and holds me close to his heart constantly, and I love that about him._

"I told you it wasn't a ghost story, it was a love story, and ran off. That was because I love you, and I let it slip by accident. I did what any little boy with a crush would do. But I realize now that being in love with you is something I need to let you know of every day. So, you know what, Clara Oswald?" he asks.

He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a black velvet box.

"I love you. I love you so much, every minute I spend without you my heart aches, and I can feel that piece of me missing. I don't want to have to feel that feeling anymore."

I continue to smile through his entire speech, and feel a tear come spilling down my cheek, which he carefully wipes with his thumb.

He opens the box with his free hand to reveal a pure gold band, with Gallifreyan writing written on it. He then uses that free hand to take one of my own, and gently strokes it.

"This... is a promise ring; a promise for both me and you. I promise to never ever stop loving you, to hold you close when you feel alone, and to protect you from any demons that threaten to harm you, whether physical or emotional." He says.

With that, he lightly turns my arm over and kisses the near faded scars on my wrist.

"The writing on this ring is my favorite quote. It says, 'Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.'"

_That's the most beautiful saying I've ever heard._

"Clara, this ring is not only a promise. I want to make our relationship official. So by accepting this ring, you not only accept the promises, but agree to be my lovely girlfriend." He smiles.

_Yes. Yes. Clara, say yes. Do it. Open your mouth and speak the words. Come on, say yes!_

I feel like my mind is a fangirl right now and the Doctor and I are it's OTP.

My brain says yes but my mouth is glued shut, in pure shock and lust from the current situation.

"Yes. I will." I say, smiling as well.

The Doctor's face lights up much brighter than it already was as he puts the ring on my finger.

When my brain finally begins to work, I speak the promises of my own.

"I promise you that on those dreadful Wednesdays when we aren't together, I'll think of you, and I won't feel alone. That when I'm tempted to do something stupid, I'll think of you first. I promise that I'll love you always with the entirety of my heart. And I promise to be your girlfriend, until the day you ask me to be your wife."

He delicately wipes one final tear from my cheek, then pulls me in close to him, and kisses me.

_Perfect._

* * *

_OH MY STARS MY SHIPPER HEART WRITING THIS CHAPTER. THIS CHAPTER NEEDS TO BE CANON LIKE, NOW. This chapter was supposed to end on a cliffhanger with Clara's response unknown but I realized, she has no reason to not respond right away and you guys would hate me for doing that. Plus, it's used too much in my stories haha. Anywho, hahah, did you guys pick up on all the "perfect" stuff? In an interview, Jenna said if she had a TARDIS, she'd go to 1920's New York. Also, her shirt that says "Love Me Tender, Love Me Tender, Lula, Lula, Lula, Lula" (Which I want to get so badly because I love that song) she got because she is a huge Elvis fan and loves that song as well, haha. I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter because Oh my stars, I did! Leave a review!_


	21. Chapter 21

_Hi guys! I'm so glad you enjoyed the last chapter, because I certainly did! It was so adorable, I nearly died from feels overload at my own writing lol. This story will end soon, it's final chapter being 30, but don't worry, there's already a sequel in the works, because the last line of chapter 30 will blow your minds and keep you wanting more! Anyway, this is the Doctor's POV! Enjoy! Favorite/Favorite if you haven't already and pretty please leave me a review! Who's excited for the next Doctor to be announced tomorrow? Me! I hope it's not Peter Capaldi.. I want someone young and energetic that can fall in love with Clara and yes! And he has to be cute.. haha. Also, if you're a Debbie Dingle/Jasmine Thomas (Emmerdale) fan, check out my story Debbie's Reasons. Alright, enough advertising! On with the chapter! Oh, one more thing! The recipe in the chapter is from the food network lol_

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Doctor Who or any of its characters!_

* * *

_Ugh, I hate Wednesdays._

It's funny, I used to love Wednesday's, because they're not too boring or too exciting and all that but now.. I just want them to pass.

_I need to see Clara!_

I pace back and forth in the console room, checking my watch every five seconds to see if it's time for me to get Clara yet.

Of course, it isn't.

I have about two hours left until she is done spending the day with the Maitlands.

_But what to do to fill that space? I could try to bake her a soufflé.. She'd like that!_

I race into the kitchen and pull out Clara's cookbook, finding the soufflé recipe first.

_Talented, I know. You don't need to tell me, I already know! Eleven points for the Doctor!_

Then I notice the thin piece of pink fabric acting as a bookmark.

My face immediately falls, and the TARDIS makes a sort of laughing sound.

"Am I bovvered?" I yell.

She returns with a sound that is mostly a grumble, with a hint of laughter.

I turn my attention back to the book and read the directions.

"7 ounces of semisweet chocolate, 4 tablespoons of unsalted butter, 1 ½ teaspoons vanilla extract, 3 egg yolks, 3 tablespoons warm water, ½ cup sugar plus 2 tablespoons, 8 large egg whites, ½ teaspoon fresh lemon spoon, and confectioner's sugar for garnish" it reads.

Opening every cabinet in the entire kitchen and carry everything I need under my arms. I put them all down on the counter in front of me and grab a mixing bowl.

I follow all the directions perfectly and put the soufflé in the oven about 25 minutes later.

"Now what?" I ask myself.

_There's a shelf broken in the library!_

I run to the library, nearly tripping over Clara's apron that'd I'd put on earlier.

Taking it off as swiftly as possible, I run stumble and run down corridors and things, trying to find my way to the library.

When I do arrive, not a single shelf in the entire place is broken.

So, I look around for signs of anyone then point my sonic at one end of a nearby shelf.

"Oh, look at that! A broken shelf!" I say as nonchalantly as possible.

I point my sonic at it once more, this time to fix it.

"Well, glad I fixed that! Couldn't have a broken shelf."

I check my wrist watch again and see that only 5 minutes have passed since I left the kitchen.

"Didn't I break the diving board in the TARDIS swimming pool?" I ask.

The TARDIS hums back, but I ignore her and run to the swimming pool.

This time, the diving board really is broken.

I make my way over to it, careful not to fall in the pool.

_It'd be the third time.. this week.._

This one will take a bit longer to fix because two of the bolts fell in the pool and the board cracked in half..

Before I go to the wardrobe, I take the sonic out of my jacket pocket and place it on the ground next to the diving board so I don't leave in in the wardrobe by accident.

When I get there, I search the racks for my bathing suit, as it's not on top of the shelf like usual.

Once I find it, I pull it on and take off my shirt, then make my way back to the pool.

I take a pair of goggles off a hook on the wall and put them on.

This time, I make sure I don't dive into the pool, but gradually dip myself in from the edge, next to the board.

It takes me a few minutes to find the bolts, as they're really small.

I emerge from the water and put the bolts in place, then grab my sonic from next to the diving board.

The bolts slide into place and I use the sonic to forcefully keep them in.

Then, I take the cracked piece of the board and use the sonic to weld it back together.

Once it's finished, I swim all the way to the other side of the pool, trying to kill time, and get out via the steps.

I force myself to slowly walk to the wardrobe, unsure of how much time is left before I get Clara.

When I get there, I pull off my swim trunks and put my previous clothes back on.

Just then, the TARDIS makes a noise that isn't very friendly, and a loud alarm starts blaring.

I use the sonic to track down the source of the alarm, and find it leads to the kitchen.

"My soufflé!" I yell, and realize how much I remind myself of Clara, then snap back to the reality of the situation.

"No, no, no, no, no!" I yell once again.

I flail around looking for Clara's oven-mitts but I can't find them.

"Ughhhh" I grumble, then run around even faster, in fear of the entire kitchen bursting into flames.

We're halfway there, actually. The stove is surrounded in smoke.

"Claraaaa!" I yell, really hoping she can hear me.

I try to check my watch but the kitchen is slowly filling with smoke, and it's difficult to see.

Smoke clouds my throat and I have trouble breathing, resulting in much coughing.

"Clara!" I attempt to yell, but it doesn't come out as loudly as I want it to.

I scramble, trying to look for the fire extinguisher.

My hands graze the walls in a frantic manner, feeling for the cold plastic box.

I pull my sonic out of my jacket pocket to provide myself some light.

"Finally." I manage to say, as I find the plastic box encasing the fire extinguisher.

I do whatever it is you're supposed to do with a fire extinguisher and the light from the fire dims.

"Extractor fans on!" I yell, and the smoke begins clearing from the room.

"Doctor?" I hear Clara say, then lightly cough.

"Clara?!" I yell excitedly.

_She's back!_

"What are you doing?" she laughs, clearly confused as to why I'm in the kitchen.

"I-I was baking you a soufflé and then things happened that we won't talk about because well, things, and then the kitchen was on fire and I almost died. Well not died because, regeneration and that stuff which is probably too complicated to explain and-"

"So, you made a soufflé?"

I laugh at her silliness, "Yes"

She laughs along with me and takes my hand.

"So! Where shall we go next?"

"I think you should take that burning soufflé out of the oven."

"Right! Yes!" I say, then move quickly to the oven.

Before I can open it, Clara puts a hand on my shoulder and hands me her oven mitts.

"I knew that."

I pull the mitts on and pull the completely burnt souffle out of the oven.

"So, do you want to go somewhere or no?" I ask, placing the very hot souffle pan on the counter and closing the stove door.

"Sure, but, do you mind if I choose?" Clara asks.

She gives me those puppy dog eyes that nobody can resist, and eventually I give in.

"Okay. But nowhere weird, yeah?"

"Weird? You're the King of weird, and you're telling me I can't go somewhere weird?" She asks with a smirk.

"Fine. Take me where you want" I say, then stick my tongue out at her.

"Thanks" she smiles, then kisses me.

_Alright. Another day with Clara._

I smile to myself, then being to lead her to the console room.


	22. Chapter 22

_Hi everyone! Sorry for the long wait, I feel absolutely awful! I've been dealing with things, school's started and now I've joined a brand new fandom! You know how that is, it's all you think about constantly and you love it so much. But I promise I haven't forgot you Whovians! How excited are you guys about Peter Capaldi?! I know it's old news, but yeah! I'm warming up to him lol. Anyway, this story's gonna get pretty slow, but at chapter 27/28 it picks up for the ending, so please stick with me to get the proper ending you'd want! Okay? Okay! Here we go!_

_DISCLAIMER: I don't own Doctor Who or any of its characters._

_I think that's the last of it._

I throw the soiled towel into the laundry basket, and the TARDIS makes a low groaning noise.

She's upset, I can tell.

Why?

I relapsed.

I don't know why.. but I did.

Everything's going great for me. I've got the man of my dreams, a perfect date out today, and all of time and space.

But the insecurities are still there.

Honestly, I don't think they ever go away..

They're kind of stuck with you forever, aren't they?

People can make you feel better, and you can finally start to love yourself, but there will always be those voices somewhere in your head.

It's like.. you read a bunch of nice comments and one bad one. And you never forget that bad one.

I heard that from a girl on YouTube.

This time, I did it somewhere the Doctor- or anybody else- won't see.

"Clara! Are you ready, darling?" The Doctor yells from the console room.

"Almost!" I say.

I race to the side of my room and put on socks, and slip on shoes.

"I hope you're wearing sensible shoes!" I yell back.

I hear him snicker, and I smile as I walk out to meet him.

"So where are you taking me?" He asks.

"Somewhere I've always loved to go." I say as I pull a large lever.

The TARDIS fumbles and flies through the vortex, and we land with an abrupt jerk.

I step down in front of me to prevent myself from falling- a little trick I'd learned.

I see the Doctor almost dall on his face, but the TARDIS catches him.

"Thanks, hun." He says, stroking her console.

"Oi. You can only do that to me" I say with a cheeky smile.

He blushes greatly, and I take his hand and tug him out of the machine.

"A bowling alley..?" he asks uncertainly.

"It'll be fun, I promise!"

We walk in, hand-in-hand, and pay for our lane, using my own money.

Okay, maybe some money I grabbed from the TARDIS.

Then, we walk over to the shoe and bowling ball corner.

We each tell the attendant our sizes and weights, and retrieve our items moments later.

As we approach our lane, the Doctor places his-and my- ball on the return thing.

I don't actually know what that's called.

We then proceed to put on our shoes.

When we finish, the Doctor stands up, ready to bowl.

"Uh, Doctor?" I say.

"Hmm?"

"I have to set up the game first.."

He looks at me questionably for a split second, then sits back down.

"Right, yes, I knew that. I was simply.. stretching. Yes, stretching. Can't have me pull a muscle, you know, in case there's any sudden danger."

"Oh shut up." I joke, and begin to set up the game.

"Okay, not you can go." I say, pressing one final button.

He stands up and throws the ball awkwardly down the lane.

Within seconds, it's in the gutter.

"It's rigged." He says.

I laugh it off, and watch him bowl again.

Once more, it goes directly to the gutter.

"You see! Rigged!" He pouts as he sits back in his chair.

I get up to bowl, and throw a perfect strike.

"Oh, it's rigged?" I smirk.

"Yes, and you must be the one who's done it. Probably when I wasn't looking or something." He grumbles.

I laugh at him once more, and the two of us continue to bowl.

The bowling patterns continue all night, give or take a few pins for each of us.

When the night is over, we both clean up and retreat back to the TARDIS.

"You did a great job."

The Doctor suddenly lightens up, feeling very proud of his 10-point score.

"I did, didn't I?" He smiles.

_I should really head off to bed.._

I make my way towards the Doctor and kiss him on the cheek.

"Goodnight, Doctor."

"You're going to bed already?"

"We had a really long day.." I say.

"Oh right. Yes, do that then."

I smile and blow him a kiss.

"I'll see you in the morning, don't worry!"

"I'll try!"

I roll my eyes playfully and walk back to my bedroom.

_I hope he didn't notice the scars.._

I changed into shorts after we left the field, and they might have been just a little too short.

Sighing, I lay my body down on my bed, and shut my eyes.

_Tomorrow's Wednesday._

I groan to myself and breathe out heavily.

I don't want to leave the Doctor anymore, but the kids really miss me.

My clothes suddenly seem more noticeable, and I hop up from my bed.

Quickly, I change into pajamas, and get back into my bed. This time, under the covers.

I shut my eyes once more and breathe slowly.

_Goodnight._

* * *

_**PS, Who noticed my Grace Helbig (dailygrace) reference? :]**_


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